Aquagirl (Fem. Percy x YJ)

96

The darkness of the room might've been oppressive, the shadows thick and heavy, but I could sense my brother's presence within them. Hades, while not as possessive of his children, had enough care for them that he didn't demand a favor in return for watching over mine. As soon as I had appeared in her bedroom, his attention vanished. I could keep my child safe. Now it was a normal darkness.

Percy laid asleep on my lap. Her dark hair fell in too-straight strands. It always left a bitter taste in my mouth. If she was Sally's child, free from the effects of Atlantean magic, how much would she look like me? Even now, when I knew the straightness came from the length and weight of it--and her avoidance of having her head ever underwater whether it be bath or shower--it seemed like a denial of my claim over her.

I pressed a hand to the back of her neck and held her head to my chest. My fingers rubbed the space below her skull. It would be so easy to slide them along her gills instead. She should trust me enough to do that, but what I was about to do made that a lie. Water slipped over her skin, glowing as I poured as much power as I dared into it.

She'd heal. I'd make sure of it. 

The skin of her cheek was soft under my touch. My heart stopped beating as she shifted. I cooed. How many years had it been since I'd held her in that nursery? It was hard to tell, and I knew it made me a bad father. To not know how old your own child was at times. But it barely felt as though a day had passed and yet also like an eternity. It didn't matter too much. She didn't look much different than when she was a newborn sharing her crib. More hair, certainly, and she was bigger. That same vulnerability remained.

I sighed and leaned back against the headboard. I should have made Sha'lain'a give them to me and raised them as guards for my palace until they were old enough to know the truth. There were so many days I could've watched them instead of forcing myself and not allowing my power to linger. Once they were twelve or thirteen, when their powers would start manifesting (I had to hope that Kaldur would've developed them being so close to me) I could've interacted with them. Held them close and given them all the affection and love they'd ever desired.

Should've's were just as useless as what if's. What if I'd claimed Kaldur? What if I'd been paying attention?

And maybe that was why I couldn't find any anger at Kaldur. I traced the curve of Percy's cheekbone, heart heavy. He might be mine, and I've robbed them both. (But if he is, I'd rob Sha'lain'a of her one mortal child). If he is, then I shouldn't play favorites. I don't play favorites any other time between them.

He'd be my youngest demigod son. Possibly the youngest son if I could remember when Tyson was born. 

If he is, if through a cruel move of the Fates he's mine, then how much I want to hold them both. Sometimes it would just be him, to make up for all the time I'd spent with Percy and all I'd done for her. I wanted to hold him close and kiss his head and tell him things would be okay. That I would protect him.

The want rushed through my body. It was like the pull of the moon on the ocean. I couldn't escape or fight it. Percy would be fine on her own. She'd been on her own before, and it would only be for a little bit. There'd be no trace of me, and she'd have no idea I'd ever came or left. I slipped off the bed. Tucking her blankets around her took precious seconds, but it was the least I could do after abandoning her like this. No. No, I wasn't abandoning her. I shook the thought from my mind.

Kaldur needed me too. He's mine, I could feel it in my bones.

His room was at the other end of the hall, and the door was awash in green light. Fainter white light seeped out from under the door, smothered but still there. A tap to the keypad overrode it and forced the door open. A shirt and jacket laid in front of the doorway. I stared at them for a moment. He must have put them there to block out the light, but why?

I walked to the bathroom. The door was open, letting the bedroom light spill in.

I saw his still healing back first. The lines were angry, red. One had reopened and was seeping blood. He must've turned too fast, or stretched too much while taking off his shirt. He leaned over the porcelain sink, one arm braced. The bracelet on his arm was glowing red. It matched the blood flowing into the basin.

"I'm not going to kill myself," he said, glaring at it. "I am not." The color didn't change. He choked on his own breath, and pressed the blade in deeper. Despite his denials, he'd die if he didn't stop. He wasn't going to stop.

There wasn't a mirror that he could see me approach in. I wrapped my hands around his wrists.

"Put that down," I mumbled. He tightened his fingers. Sliding my hand up, I gently pried it from his grip, uncaring as it sliced into my palm. It barely hurt more than my fishing line. Kaldur stared at where my ichor mixed with his blood.

His gaze dropped to his shaking hands which soon clenched into fists.

"I wasn't going to kill myself."

"Maybe not intentionally." He startled, as if it had taken him a moment to realize who I was. He looked back at me with wide eyes. "But you'd die all the same." Warm light glinted off the blood and the blade and the ichor. I offered it to him.

Kaldur's look turned to disbelief. "Why are you...?"

"If you're going to die, you should be honest with yourself about what you're doing. If you take this and use it, it's to kill yourself." With how strongly he'd denied the intent, I was surprised when he shot out his hand. I grabbed his wrist.

"Just- Just let me do this!" he cried and struggled. "Why are you doing this?"

 I couldn't raise a single word to my lips. I took a moment to look at his face. Sha'lain'a was more obvious in his features, but his eyes were a soft green instead of a gentle brown. Not as vibrant as Percy's, but if she had absorbed the powers he was supposed to inherit...

"You're mine." I breathed out. I didn't care if it was actually true or not. The blade vanished into nothing. My hands cupped his face. His skin was soft. He wouldn't be able to grow a beard for a few more years. Most Atlanteans couldn't until they were in their late twenties. Another point to him being mine. He'd have stubble by now if David was his father. 

I wanted Sha'lain'a to have a mortal child, I did. But I had to be his father, even if I couldn't sense him the way I could his sister. 

Kaldur collapsed to the ground and dug his nails into his injuries. He didn't whimper or cry. I sank down and pulled him onto my lap. "Sh. Sh, I've got you."  Blood slicked my hands as I tugged at his arms. His breathing stuttered and he struggled against me. "I'm sorry." I kissed his head. Guilt gnawed away at me.

How long have I made myself stay away from Percy because of not knowing if Kaldur was mine? Because I didn't want to be unfair to him if he was? I caressed the back of his neck and muttered soft promises to him. Everything will be fine. I'm here. I'll keep you safe.

"My baby boy." My words were soft. He was mine. And I wanted him safe and healing. It was the primal part of me that desired it, the endless depth and craving of the waters, only enhanced by the length of time I'd denied it. "Rest now, and I'll get you cleaned up."

He let his head drop to my shoulder as I repeated what I did for Percy. Water stitched his skin together. When it rose towards his gills he struggled against me. Later, I reassured myself, I could do it later. He doesn't trust me either. He has less reason than Percy to.

I wrapped my arms around him and hoisted him into the air. His bed had no blankets, so I laid down with him. He cuddled into me, tucked into as small of a form as he could manage. Unlike Percy, he didn't need a lullaby to drift to sleep. I sighed and kissed his forehead.

One day I'd hold them both.

Kinda bad that it took me this long to determine if I wanted Poseidon to be Kaldur's dad or not. But I want to end this on a certain note. (and in like 3 chapters. I cut out one of them, so now it should end on 99)

If I don't get anything up for Christmas, merry christmas in advance (there's a winter storm coming so we might lose power)

(If you get a bunch of update notifications, sorry, but I'm pretty sure none are getting sent out at the correct time for some reason)

See yah