Chapter 6: "Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm"

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Natasha Alpha of Howl Pack above

Danny POV

Brandon thrusts in and out of me, moaning loud; it's not painful, far from it. He doesn't press my arms into the mattress this time, so there will be no bruising. It's alright, but still, I bit my lips hard, trying not to cry.

When we got upstairs, he was shouting about how Julius had been unfair, and I understood why he was so agitated, and I tried to calm him down, but... He wanted me to blow him off, and after Jordan, I knew that this one thing would never happen no matter what. I said I didn't want to, and he... 

He was irritated but didn't comment and only told me to lie on my stomach. No caressing, no kissing, no touching. He prepared me, put some lube on his shaft, and started pounding into me. It's not painful; it's just... empty. I don't feel much when he is inside me, not now, not before.

We started having sex regularly after two days in here, and we have it every day, and it's, I have no idea why, but I don't feel good; I feel like I'm not with him but looking at everything from somewhere else. When Brandon comes home, I'm happy, I like when he kisses me or takes my hand into his from time to time, but I can't just shake off the feeling that I'm not his mate but something that bothers him.

I tried to talk with him about it once, and he shrugged it off, saying that I exaggerated. He claims that it is normal to have doubts, plus as a human, I don't feel the bond so strong, but it will be better with time. Maybe he is right. He is my marked mate; I love him, I must love him; mates love each other!

Brandon starts trembling much more, and I know his peak is close, but when he spills and falls on top of me, I don't feel a thing like it didn't happen, like it was meaningless. He rolls off me and smacks my ass hard.

"At least at this one thing, Bruce and I are on the same page; your ass is beyond anything else," he jokes, standing up.

"What do you mean?" I ask; I feel something cold in my stomach, something I don't want to feel.

"Nothing, it's just there is nothing like the ass of your mate," he blinks at me and goes toward the door. "I will go for a run; see you soon."

I manage to get up from the bed and go to the bathroom as I scrub myself more eagerly than usual. When Brandon returns, I don't sleep yet; I patiently wait for him to shower and lie next to me. As always, he doesn't cuddle me and quickly falls asleep. I don't want to sleep, not because I'm not tired but because my nightmares have returned recently, Jordan once again haunts my dreams, and I'm scared to close my eyes. When I had to deal with it in the past, my parents and my sister held me in my sleep, which helped. It was customary for them when I used to wake them up during the night, saying that I had terrible dreams. Not even once they got angry and tell me to get a grip.

After two hours, I know there is no point in it, so I silently get up and leave the bedroom, taking my sketchbook from the desk. Sitting on the porch in the dim light, I start drawing; it always helps. I don't know how much time I spend there just filling page after page, and I don't care. It helps; I feel much better.

Suddenly, a big black wolf emerges from the shadows; his green eyes are almost mesmerizing as he slowly walks in my direction. I have no idea who it is, but I don't feel afraid; I'm used to wolves around me, and I don't know why, but I feel I'm not sure what. Fondness? Amazement?

He comes closer slowly, gently nuzzling me, rubbing his big body on my small one, and I melt in his touch. I suddenly feel the calmness I think I've never felt before. When he stops, he enters the house on walks directly into Julius's room. I observe him as he lays on his bed and shifts into Julius. But to my biggest surprise, Julius seems asleep. 

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