Roses & Ruin

Chapter 109 (Lexi)

When I shook my head clear it snapped Anthony out of it too. I motioned to sit up, but he stopped me and stayed hovering over me with the weight resting on one elbow. His other hand was flat against my belly.

"Lexi" he said my name in a way that made my chest flutter, but he stopped talking. When I just continued to look at him I saw his sense of resolve coming through.

        "Lexi, I've tried to find something purely physical and simple, and instead I ran right smack into you and everything not simple that came with you...I don't wanna be safe and keep you at arms length because girls have a tendency to leave me. I just want you. That's really all there is to it" he shrugged, and looked down at me like he'd finally given up on something. His resolve to deny this, I suppose.

"Want me how?" I had to ask. I didn't want him playing on words and confusing his meaning. Anthony stood up and suddenly left the room, which definitely confused me, but he was back just as quickly.

I watched him sit on the edge of the mattress and grab my hand. That's when I realized what he was doing. He slid my wedding band and engagement ring back on my finger and kissed my knuckles before he released them.

        "Don't ever take that off again" he sounded like he was warning me in the sexiest way. "It sounds absurd to ask you out when we're already fucking married" he huffed at himself, but it made me smile. "Ask me out on a date or-" I didn't get to finish.

"Nah, fuck all that. We're already above and beyond that. I'll take you out whenever you want, but I'm not asking you on a date right now. I'm asking if you wanna be with me" he made my whole chest swell and my belly flutter.

Holy shit. We're really doing this, huh? My heart was pounding like a fools, but I sat up and moved closer to him from where he sat

        "Do you wanna be with me?" I asked instead of answering his question. He gave me the 'really' face. "Yeah, I wanna fucking be with you, Lex. Do you wanna be with me?" He huffed. I didn't mean to stress him out. I realized how seriously he was taking this. No Rizzo smoothness. He was asking a real question and he wanted a real answer. Now.

"I do" I finally admitted, which was both terrifying and exhilarating. "We already said that at the wedding" he teased me, but he couldn't even hide his smile. It was stunning actually. I got caught up in it before he grabbed my face and crashed my lips into his.

He pulled me over his lap, and I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him like I meant it. Then I pulled away slightly and told him, "You better take me on a date though. I'm not dating someone cheap" just to mess with him.

        "Mhm, yeah. I will" he barely paid attention, pulling our mouths together again. Anthony kissed my lips, and then he kissed my cheeks. One then the other. He continued by gently kissing the tip of my nose, and against my temple. When he got to my throat I was already humming in satisfaction.

We didn't jump to sex. We just kissed for a while and held onto each other. It was intense to be so vulnerable with a person. It's something I've never done before. But it's something I couldn't help where Anthony is involved.

For whatever reason Mia's words about her and Dom surfaced in my mind. When I asked why she chose Dom over anything else she told me that he was everything she couldn't live without.

Where is the line from here to there? When does someone become your life line, your own air to breath, the thing you need just to stay alive? I guess there is an Edge for that too. And the only people who know where it is are the ones who've already gone over.

- 

        When Anthony told me he was going to take me out on our first official date after becoming an actual couple I was intrigued. Sure, we went out in the very beginning after I'd first met him for drinks before he'd take me to bed. This was different. When I asked where we were going I was confused when he told me, "You can wear whatever, just be sure it's something you wouldn't mind getting dirty." I had no idea what that could mean.