Roses & Ruin

Chapter 76 (Lexi)

The date was set last night. Vitaly came home in an unusually good mood and told me, "Early September." That's 6 weeks away. I haven't been able to eat since. I can barely swallow. I've called Sasha and purged. I've called Mila and purged. Both are still excited to be coming to America for the wedding. Traitors.

Mrs. Rizzo kidnapped me today and brought me to a bridal shop. She took me to a cake testing too. She's so happy and I just want to scream. Now Giana and Mia are here getting sized for bridesmaid dresses.

Apparently they will officially be in the wedding. The bridal party goes as follows.

        Anthony as best man and Mila as maid of honor. Sasha is my first bridesmaid and she'll be paired off with one of the Lombardo's I think. I forget now. Mia and a Rizzo cousin whose name I don't remember, and then Giana is going because Enzo wants her to, so on the men's side Andrei has volunteered himself as an usher to even the numbers out.

Vitaly was so pleased. Andrei's just having a laugh.

I couldn't bring myself to try on any brides dresses. Not today. I couldn't do it. We covered a lot of ground today though, and Mrs.Rizzo eventually set her captive free. I feel sick inside. I locked myself in my bedroom and haven't come out for hours.

        All I could see were bridal magazines poking out of my bag that Mrs. Rizzo insisted I take home to look through. We have more decisions to make tomorrow since we only have 6 weeks. The woman called like 40 venues trying to find someone to accommodate the short notice.

Then Domani threw his name's weight around and suddenly we booked a venue. No decorations though.

Because I was in the privacy of my bedroom I pulled out the magazine. With every page that I flipped I saw smiling happy women and beautiful gowns. I tried picturing myself in those gowns smiling at the mirror when I found 'the yes dress'. I thought about my mom.

I pictured her behind me, wiping away silent tears as she took my shoulders and rested her chin on one of them when she said, "I did good making you." That's what she said every time she looked at me and was proud of something.

I started to cry. I couldn't stop crying actually. I sobbed into my pillow until my eyes stung and felt swollen against the tightness of my salty cheeks. I crawled into my bed and stayed there. I think overnight and well into the afternoon.

I heard voices at one point that woke me up.

"Mr. Petrov, is Miss Petrov home today? We call for breakfast-no answer- lunch- no answer" she told someone. I heard Andrei's voice respond. "She's supposed to be" he sounded curious so he knocked. I ignored him but he came in anyway.

"The hell's wrong with you? Don't you hear Magdalena calling for you all morning?" I heard his voice from above me, but I was under my blanket. "Hey" he poked at the lump he assumed to be me. When he dramatically pulled back the comforter I think he was expecting to find a bunch of rolled up clothes as a decoy for me to sneak out. But he did in fact find me.

"Aleks?" Andrei called me the nickname I told him not to call me already twice. My mother called me that. I was at my breaking point. "You AREN'T allowed to call me THAT" I shouted at him. His head moved back on his neck in surprise.

"Are you on your period or something?" He asked me. "Yes, I'm bleeding all over the place. Menstrual blood everywhere. Run" I was so sarcastic it lingered. "Ok LEXI, what's your issue?" He called me the name they never call me, but I always ask them to. For that I granted him an answer. Just one.

"My mom won't be at my wedding," I said. He turned eerily quiet. "Oh" was all he could respond.

Even though the boys lived with my father growing up they do still have a mother. She's completely relevant to their lives. I just heard Andrei on the phone with her the other day actually.