Roses & Ruin

Chapter 34 (Lexi)

        Nothing could have prepared me for what I walked into. It wasn't the backroom illegal gambling den, or the suited mobsters all around the room that had me shaken. No, it was one mobster in particular.

My heart dropped when my eyes scanned the room as a whole until they landed on a man in a sharp tailored suit.

Anthony freaking Rizzo. I was stunned.

I should have known. His smooth demeanor, his mysteriousness, his bruised knuckles and slight air of something dangerous. I should've been able to sense the aura of a mobster, and yet I totally missed the red flags. Those screaming warning signs to back off.

        I thought I was being rebellious and clever when I secretly went off and lost my virginity to a hot guy so my family couldn't control that decision for me. But if they knew I had anything to do with Anthony before this room he would be dead and so would I.

It's not rebellious, now it's just dangerous, this secret that we share.

I feel caught. I didn't tell Anthony anything about myself for the reason of not revealing too much of who I truly am, but look how badly that's backfired. Now he knows I'm Vitaly Petrov's daughter, only 20 years old, and a former virgin guised as a current virgin. He knows too much.

        It's not that I fear he'll tell anyone anything because I know he's as worried about the consequences as I am. I can see it in his face no matter how hard he's trying to hide it. He's panicked just as I am. He's thrown off guard just as I am.

I would've thought maybe he approached me that day because he secretly knew who I was and wanted to spy on my family, or seek some revenge or something, but I know that's not true. I can read it all over him that he's shocked and possibly regretful.

I don't want him to regret me. But I'm not surprised if he does.

I thought it was gonna suck having to say bye to Anthony and ghost him. It's going to be way harder being around him all the time, but not being able to know him. Or touch him. The man is hot...how can I just never touch him again?!

This is unreal.

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        The entire meeting was lost upon me while I sat between my father and brothers trying not to look at Anthony. I didn't wanna listen to the words because I knew I was being discussed and I hated it. I blocked it out and instead got lost in my own rapid thoughts.

Lorenzo. I heard Lorenzo, who is that?

I saw a scary Italian mobster guy, who I assume is the boss, place his hand on a guy's shoulder and offer something. Oh shit, am I about to be betrothed to this man? I haven't really looked at him, but now I want to. I wanna know who I'm being committed to.

I can't even stomach the thought of this actually being a form of a binding business contract. It's so absurd I can't even believe it, even as it's happening right in front of me.

Lorenzo Rizzo. What does that make him to Anthony? Are they brothers? Am I about to be offered up to Anthony's brother? How twisted a fate.

        I couldn't even look at Lorenzo because I could feel Anthony's eyes on me in that moment of discussion between my father and brothers. I could feel Anthony's eyes on me, so I didn't want him seeing me eyeing his brother or whoever he is.

I didn't want Anthony thinking I'm interested in this arrangement because I'm not. I'm embarrassed.

It's not like I want to be offered up to Anthony either. I wouldn't want that. But at least I know him. Though, if he said yes to the deal I would've come to hate him for it. I wish he would jump to his feet and stand up for me, telling his fellow mob associates that this is wrong, but he won't.