His secret

Chapter 47

I've been trying to sleep for many hours now, not because I believe I can get any sleep right now but because Gia is sitting in my bed with my head in her lap, refusing to sleep while I'm still awake. I'm calmer now and I believe it has everything to do with Gia's support, she somehow knows exactly what to do and say. But I still have a very heavy feeling in me, a feeling of both fear and disgust.

"Do you want me to make you a warm glass of milk, Omorfia?" she asks me while stroking my hair. "No thanks, Gia Sophia." I decline her offer partly because I have no appetite, not even for a glass of water. But also because I'm sure Alexis is back home by now. And even if Gia helped me into the shower as soon as we got home and changed me into new clothes I know he would know something is wrong by just looking at me. I'm not quite sure how I feel about him knowing, I haven't even had the time or energy to think about it, all I know is that I have a feeling that It's for the best if he doesn't know. "I won't tell him if that's what you want,"

"I... It's just. He warned me and I didn't..."

"Shhh," she hushes me with a soft voice. "Never blame yourself ever, Nova. Do you hear me? Never. No one could have known that would happen, not even you. Yes, Alexis might have warned you that Miles would hurt you but he never had the things Miles put you through today in mind. There's nothing you should have or could have done differently and non of this is your blame to take, it's his fault and only his" her voice is deadly serious.

"How did you know it was..." I'm stunned she knew it was Miles that had sexually assaulted me although I hadn't told her anything at all. I just left her with her own realization when she saw the blood coming from my sex that drained my pants, simply because I couldn't give her any other details and make my mind go through it all over again. But she interrupts me before I finish my question.

"I saw it on your face. The disbelief you had in your eyes, almost like you still thought of it as a dream or a mind trick because you refuse to believe that someone you love would do such a thing to you. It would somehow be easier if it was a total stranger. In fact, all of you wish it was a total stranger because now it isn't just rape, it's a betrayal too " she knows...so much. She described my feelings better than I had known them myself as if she could read my mind. Or as if... No, please, no, let my thought not be true.

I turn my head in her lap and look up at her, seeing that she's looking away from me. Her gaze is fixated on an empty spot on the white wall of my bedroom and her hand isn't stroking my hair anymore. "Are you alright, Gia?" I ask her. Her head turns to me again in a haste, like she just snapped out of her own thoughts. "Yes, Omorfia, I'm fine," I don't dare to ask her about the thing I just thought about so I ask her another thing I've been curious about. "How did you find me?" I short giggle leaves her mouth before she answers. "I always make sure I can track my family members," I lift my body and sit in front of her on the bed. "You tracked me? But...how?" she looks at me with the most natural look on her face, like this is something very usual for someone to do. "I downloaded a tracking app on your phone a little while after you got here. I think you were in the shower so I took the opportunity. And yes, Alexis has the same app and he doesn't know it,"

"Why?" the smile on her face slowly disappears as I see her getting into her thoughts again. A few seconds pass before she lifts the hem of her shirt, flashing me a tattoo located under her breast. The tattoo is of a woman with white eyes, no pupils, a scar on her lip, tears streaming down her cheeks, and...snakes on her head. It's a tattoo of Medusa and I know exactly what it symbolizes. "He was my high school boyfriend," the pain of the past memories reflects on her face. "And I guess the long-term damage he left is me always being worried about my family, that's why I do the tracking thing because that day I came to realize that no one can truly be trusted, and i wanted to make sure that I could prevent my family members from any hurt," a single teardrop makes its way down her cheek but she wipes it away with her hand.

"Anyhow, you wondered how I found you. You see, It took you a while, several hours went by and you didn't come back. I tried calling you put you wouldn't pick up and I already had a bad feeling about this meeting so I tracked your phone and drove all the way to you where you where laying, passed out on the ground," I throw myself at Gia for many reasons but mostly because I know that we're sharing quit the same feelings right now. I know that I have her by my side and that she understands be better than I understand myself right now. She returns the hug as my eyes start feeling up with tears I didn't know I was holding in while she was talking.