His secret

Chapter 25

"He did what?" Alexis asks me in disbelief. "He proposed, two weeks ago" I repeat. "That son of a bitch wasted my time for a whole week going around, from one store to another to find you the perfect ring. From one proposal planer to another because he simply couldn't decide what to go with and then he just threw all of that away?" He's starting to get frustrated, I can tell because he's using the tone he uses with us employees when we mess up. "And above all of that he didn't even bother to tell me, he just went on with his life and I had to find out by seeing the ring on his girlfriend. Oh no, pardon me I saw the ring on his so-called fiance, soon-to-be wife."

 I really didn't mean for Alexis to see the ring on my finger. That night, two weeks ago after I had told Miles yes, that I would marry him a few tears and kisses went by before I had the chance to ask him how he had wanted to propose to me in the first place. He told me that there wasn't anything planned out really and that they needed a little more time to figure something out because he'd prefer not to have something like those cheesy proposals in fancy restaurants or on the beach in the movies we watched during our movie nights. Then we ended up agreeing on me not telling Alexis anything before Miles could find the time to tell him because they had however spent much time on planning. So I simply haven't worn my ring to work until today. I totally forgot to take it off in the morning because of the rush I was in and Miles is the one to blame for that. He had me up all night looking through weeding catalogs although we still haven't put a date for the wedding. "I want to have enough time to make everything perfect," he had told me which just made me laugh because it only confirmed my long-lasting suspicions about him being a perfectionist and having OCD problems. 

"Have you set a date for the wedding?" his voice, which somehow had calmed down returned my thoughts to him. "No, not yet," I tell him with a feeling of guilt. "I didn't mean to lash out at you. I'm truly happy for him, hell I wish the best for that man because he deserves it. I'm happy for both of you. I just got frustrated about the fact that I had spent so much time trying to help him and he didn't even give it a thought before he threw it away. And I'm not complaining about helping him, on the contrary, I was really exhilarated and honored when he asked me for help," a very unfamiliar expression settles on Alexis's face in step with his last sentence, an expression I had never seen un his face before. I've seen this man happy most of the time, irritated while in the restaurant and angry during some extreme times, even sorry and regretful when he realizes how hard he had been on somebody in the kitchen, but never ever sad. 

"I think I might fear that he'll never need me now that he officially has you. We used to do everything together before, you know. But that has changed ever since you guys moved in together. Him asking me for help really gave me hope. Sorry," I feel my heart ache for him. "It's my fault, Alexis. I kind of pushed him into proposing and he felt really terrible about it," which wasn't a lie, we had stayed up all night discussing it because Miles knew how excited Alexis was about this whole thing. "You don't have to lie for me to feel better, Kid. I'm a grown-ass man, I'll get over it," he says as he takes his chef hat off and strokes his hand over his messy hair as he heads for the door. 

"Wait, Alexis. I really meant what I said I swear. You know as an apology we even want you to plan the wedding," the way he turns around as the last words left my mouth may be the fastest I've ever seen anybody turn around. "You really mean that?" his face lights up in hope as guilt fills me up because I just had lied to him. But it was for a good cause, I couldn't bear to see him that sad. And I'm sure Miles would mind either. "Of course. Who else could we trust to do that?" I manage to smile at him. "I will not disappoint you, I promise," he yells for me as he marches outside the empty kitchen as if he's heading to plan everything tonight, leaving me with my own thoughts. If Miles hasn't spent that much time with Alexis, who I know is his only friend, where has he then spent all of the time he's been away from me? Because we sure didn't spend all of our time together as Alexis had thought, contrariwise I've barely seen him lately except in the morning before I head to work, during the night just a while before I head to sleep, and when we have a planned date. Could it really be that he works that much? It is a very great possibility because the man runs his own business and I should probably not grumble about it too much but it's smoothing in my guts that tells me that's not the case.

 No. I need to stop questioning him all the time, it's really not fair. The last time ended with me spoiling his surprise proposal. He is truly trying his very best to make this whole thing work for both of us, balancing between me, my problems, and his work and it's my turn to help him with that. I push away the uncomfortable feeling that settled in my gut and pick my phone up to dial Miles's number to tell him what I just had gotten us into. Don't judge, maybe it'll turn out great, the voice in my head tells me as the phone rings.