superfluous | thiago alcântara

chapter three ; leaving

* bruna's pov *

It had been about a month since my finals and Thiago's debut for the first team.

I finally arrived at the Alcantara house after walking from mine which wasn't too far away. I knocked on the door and I heard Rafinha's voice.

"Come in!" his voice came through the open window near the front door. As I opened up the door, I felt my nerves start to set in. Clutching the big white envelope I walked towards where I heard Rafinha's voice.

"Hey Bruna." Rafinha says to me without taking his eyes off the football match on the tv in front of him.

"Hey Rafa." I say back and sit on the couch next to the chair he is sitting on. My anxiety is starting to get the best of me and I feel like I just want to rip the large white envelope up, but that would involve several other papers. Rafinha screams making me jump out of my skin.

"Goaaaaaaaaaaalllllll!" Rafinha shouts and gets up and jumps around. I look up to see a Chelsea game on the television.

"You like Chelsea, Rafa?" I ask him, generally curious because I had never thought Rafinha to be one of those people.

Rafinha shrugs and smiles the famous Alcantara smile, "I guess they are ok, what's that envelope?"

I motion for Rafinha to come sit next to me and I show him the envelope from the university in England. At first he seems confused, but I can tell when it all clicks inside his head.

"You got accepted!" he yells and gets up to jump around again. After about twenty seconds, he finally starts to realize why I seemed so stressed about it.

"You have to leave if you commit to going there..." his voice trails off after he sits back down and scratches the back of his neck.

"Exactly, this is why I feel stressed and panicked." I tell him, he seems to understand my dilemma because I don't want to leave Thiago and everyone else.

"Listen Bruna, no matter what you have to take this chance and live your dream. Even though that sounded extremely cheesy, I'm being serious. I will help you in anyway you want because you're like a sister to me Bru." he tells me and grabs the envelope and looks through it.

"You start next week if you decide to go..." he tells me quietly and I can see by the look on his face he is shocked by the amount of time I have left in Barcelona.

"I know Rafa, trust me i've looked over everything about twenty times. I came here to tell Thiago about it, but now I'm scared." I confess to Rafinha and he nods like he completely understands me.

"Because you love him" he states bluntly and I have to take a second to actually think about what he means.

"Yes, he is my best friend." I try to cover up the fact that maybe I feel a different way then that, but Rafinha sees right through my fake excuse.

"No, as in you want to be with him and you don't want to leave because of him."

This takes me by surprise because it seems like Rafinha can see right in to my mind and know exactly what i'm thinking.

"No no no friends. That is it." I say, feeling defeated because I can tell Rafinha knows I'm lying.

"I don't know Bru." Rafinha tells me, he is obviously just as lost of words as I am.

"I'm gonna leave. Tonight. And not tell anyone." this gets a look of shock from Rafinha.

"No no no no you don't have to do that!"

"Rafa, yes i do. If i just disappear, the goodbyes won't hurt." I tell him, it all starts to make sense. I will leave and not tell anyone where I have gone and make a new life for myself.

"That is so unreasonable Bruna, but if you truly feel that you have to do that... then I'll support you." Rafinha tells me, I realize I said what I was thinking out loud and face palm myself because of how stupid I am.

"I'll leave tonight." I say abruptly, Rafinha stares at me wide eyed and blinks a couple times to make sure it's real life.

"But listen Rafa, I don't want you to tell anyone where I went or that you even know in the first place. I need to do this on my own, I'm not leaving a trace of myself behind and if you tell anyone where I am Rafinha I will know."

Rafinha is still trying to take it all in but he manages to nod his head and make it clear that he understands this is what I need and that he won't tell anyone. I need this so that my feelings for Thiago will go away because we can't be anything more than best friends because it won't be right and I don't wish to hold him back.

After all this it's around six at night and Thiago comes walking through the door. I hide the envelope under a stack of paper and Rafinha motions for me to go join Thiago in his room. I walk in to see Thiago looking through his closet.

"Going somewhere?" I ask and he looks a little startled. When he sees me he smiles and it seems to just brighten the whole room.

"No, just changing, I feel so sweaty after training." he responds and takes off his training shirt and throws it in his pile of dirty clothes. I stare for a good ten seconds till he notices and I quickly turn my gaze away. So maybe him shirtless does effect me a little more then usual.

I sit down on his bed and wait for him to get dressed, but he ends up just lying down on his bed instead. He turns on the fan and even then without a shirt on he is still glistening with sweat.

I end up sitting up next to him while he lays there. He is drawing circles on my back when all of a sudden he gets up and looks in my eyes, for the longest time we both don't say anything and sit in the awkwardness.

He takes his hand and twirls a piece of my brown hair around his finger. Out of nowhere I decide to do something i probably shouldn't.

I kiss him and shockingly he kisses me right back and I run my hands through his hair and we kiss for what seems like forever to me, but in reality it's not.

When the kiss ends I look down and he tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear and kisses my forehead. I decide I can't take anymore without hurting him even more. I get up and smile weakly at him before walking out of the door.

The image of Thiago Alcantara sitting on his bed shirtless after just kissing me with a confused look on his face will be forever burnt into my mind till I see him again. I am not even sure when that will be.

I come downstairs and find Rafinha. He is sitting in the kitchen and without words he knows what needs to happen and he gets up and we walk out the front door.

Before the house is out of view I take one last look at it because it maybe the last time I see it for a good amount of time.

Me and Rafinha don't even bother stopping at my house because I couldn't leave if I say my own home for the supposal last time.

The ride to the airport was quiet because we both had no idea what to say to eachother. We parked near the entrance to the airport, me and Rafinha both got out.

Rafinha looks at me with his sad eyes, the 16 year old too upset over all of this, but he seems to try to understand. Before he leaves he hugs me tightly.

"Please come back as soon as possible." he whispers, I nod and wave goodbye to Rafinha and the rest of my life in Barcelona.

***

so i jusg realized maybe Rafinha can't drive cause he's 16 here idk but we'll pretend he can

uh yeah i don't have anything to say really, still working on the whole writing thing