Roses & Ruin

Chapter 62 (Lexi)

"Jezus" was all I said. "How did You, who isn't privy to their operations, figure it out?" I almost laughed. When he looked all too eager to tell me I quickly threw my hand up. "Nope! Never mind."

        "You're no fun. Anyways, I originally came in here for a different reason" he told me. That got my attention. "Dmitriy was looking for you," he said. That deflated the intrigue. "Why?" I looked away from him and took a sip of my coke. 

"He's becoming quite the bridezilla. All he talks about now is wedding, wedding, wedding. Eager to ship you off I suppose" he winked. I rolled my eyes. "Fuck the wedding. It's all a sham. You're forcing me to do this. I'm not playing along and putting on a show" I warned him.

"First of all, I'm not making you do anything. Father's the boss" he tried correcting me. I snorted and whirled around to better face him. "And you're his henchman who carries out his orders" I spat. Andrei wasn't phased. He used his two figures and struck them together in a motion that meant tisk tisk.

        "Henchmen are beneath me. I'm a boss, Lady Rizzo" he flinched knowing I was gonna punch him for it. He laughed when I tried. He grabbed my fist and crushed it. I yelped and tried kicking at his outstretched leg now that he decided to sit on the ground with me. 

I couldn't tell if a shadow was playing across his forehead or if I saw a bruise. I didn't ask. Moving this much still hurts my torso and chest quite a bit. "What do you want? You never sit around with me, so you're clearly up to something" I called him out.

"It's called bonding, sister" he stated sarcastically. 

"You don't give a shit about that" I called out the truth of it. "Excuse me. I'd like to point out that you knew we existed and chose not to speak to us all your life. We knew you existed, but had no way of finding you. Ever think of that? Breaks my heart sister" Andrei leaned back on one elbow. I wanna punch his smug face.

        "Petrov men don't have feelings or else I might have bought that" I gave him a thumbs down at his attempt. I saw Andrei's blue eyes roll up to the ceiling as he clearly thought back on something. "That's funny. You don't remember Russia before you left, huh?" He asked me. I eyeballed him. 

"Uh, a few things" I shrugged. He hummed in response. "Why?" I asked.

"We got along just fine, you and I. You don't seem to remember, but I was the one who was always playing with you" he told me and I couldn't tell by his dry tone if he was joking or not. "You and Dmitriy never let me play with you. The age gap was too big" I disagreed with his version of the memories.

"Think a little harder, Aleks" he said the nickname that made my gut flip. Only mom called me Aleks. I don't want any of them using it. 

        I tried to ignore that sour taste in the back of my throat and think back to Russia before I left. Lexi at 7, 6, however old. I couldn't conjure the memories. "I'd carry you on my back all over the house" he said, leaning forward to steal my nugget. I was so distracted that I let him.

"Nah huh" I practically argued in defense. He's lying. I don't remember that. I remember the boys always being a pair and leaving me out. That's my last clear memory of always being left out.

"I hate to say it sister...but there is picture evidence that proves me right," he made a fake gasp sound to mock me. "Oh fuck off, you liar" I waved him off. 

"I'll have Gloria take pictures on her cellphone and send it right now. We have a photo album, miss.. For the rest of your meal, wanna bet?" He asked, eyeing my food. "No!" I protested. He smirked. "Ah, because you fear I'm right" he leaned back on his elbow again, sprawled out across the rugged portion of the floor. "No" I grumbled to myself. 

        I saw him pull out his phone and start typing. My gut clenched for no good reason. What am I uneasy about? Him proving that he liked me at some point in my life? Why do I feel so defensive about it? I just continued to eat my meal and ignore his presence. I went for the toy packet and ripped it open. It was a plastic figurine of a new Disney character.

After about 5 minutes he handed me his phone. "Swipe" he ordered. 

When I looked down I just stared for a moment. A little boy about 10 or 11, a little girl about 5 or 6. His pale mop of hair messy on his head, my blonde locks in two pigtails. I was on his back and by the glee on my face I was clearly enjoying myself. 

Andrei was smiling...like not his shit eating grin smile, but a cute little boy's crooked smile.

        When I swiped I saw another similar photo. Only we weren't in the parlor this time we were in the yard and he was holding me on his big boy bike. I was fisting his little striped shirt like maybe I was scared, but by the wide wild eyes I could tell I was also exhilarated.

I wasn't sure what I was feeling inside. It's the first I've ever seen of these photos. I don't have photos from before. Only the one of me and Mila that mom brought with us. She never brought one of me and my brothers.

        I felt like I was looking at someone else's life. A third photo, and sure enough Andrei and I were side by side. I looked much younger in this one. Maybe 3 years old, which puts Andrei at 8 years old. I'm on his lap and he's holding a popsicle for me. My mouth is all red and my chin glistens in the picture. He wasn't looking at the camera. He was looking down at me from over my shoulder so he could hold the popsicle right.

I felt a strange ache inside me and I quickly shoved the phone back at my brother. I didn't look at him. I don't know why I'm so bothered by this, but I was. Frustrated or agitated. I don't know how to explain it. I had one image in my head about my brothers and he's trying to change the narrative here. No.

        "Why do you look pissed?" Andrei chuckled at my odd expression. He took the phone back and glanced down at it absentmindedly again. "Because" I said, but my brain didn't have an answer. Not yet. 

"Wait, you're actually pissed? What the fuck? Why?" He sat upright now. My anger was bringing his anger forward. Andrei likes to fuck around and annoy people, but he's very short tempered. He's overdue for a flip out actually. He's been far too calm stateside.

Andrei stayed looking at me though. He wanted an answer. I got onto my knees and started packing up my happy meal. 

        "Why are you being a brat?" He spat at me. "Because" I said again. My brain wasn't working right. It was busy sorting through all the information he just shoved forward. "Is that the only word you know now?! Because" his attitude was evident. Suddenly I had my answer. I know why this is upsetting me.

"Because if you actually liked me...if you aren't this cold hearted man who doesn't give a single shit about his estranged little sister...if you actually liked me...then what you guys did was so much worse. Selling me off like that. So much worse" I got up to my feet and stomped out of the room. 

My heart was beating so fast I felt breathless, which made my very bruised chest hurt. I couldn't look back at Andrei. I just went straight into my temporary bedroom, of this temporary house, with these temporary people.