The Longest Night (VegasPete) ✔️Completed

Chapter 15 - Trust

⚠️(Trigger) Warning: mental issues (memory loss), sexual harassment, forced sex mentioned}
Please stop reading if it could harm you in any way!⚠️

[When someone speaks English I'll type the parts bold.]

Hello everyone,

honestly I'm thinking back and forth for days by now, if this chap is good enough. But since I start to annoy myself, I will make it like ripping off a bandage  and throw it into the ring now.

🤞🤞🤞

Have fun. 😊 Let's go.

.......................

Pete's POV

[Two days later]

It felt strange.

I felt like two people in one body.

The Pete from my memories and the Pete I was now. Both the same and yet different.

A lot of memories had come back to me, but not all. After the night at Yok's bar no more memories came up. It was a strange feeling, since for me it was like we had this explosive altercation at the safe house and without me remembering the process I was suddenly Vegas boyfriend.

Okay, there were also the last days since I came here, but this was so different that my mind wasn't really able to melt all this together.

My feelings for Vegas didn't confuse me anymore, but I needed some time to find out who I was now. Who I wanted to be.

A few days ago I had been the person I always used to know.

A few weeks ago I had been the person my experiences with Vegas had made out of me.

Now I was someone in between. It felt a little bit like I had invaded another person's life.

But the funny thing was, my body seemed to remember everything. It seemed to know exactly who I was all the time. Since I mentally stopped struggling against my affection for Vegas, since I wasn't afraid he could use me for his fun or revenge any longer, my body seemed to be absolutely assured.

When Vegas touched me it felt like my body was used to it - made for it - and content with everything. Melting in his touch.

This was new to me. At the safe house, no matter how gentle he was, there was still some kind of electric tension and apprehension with every touch. The last days I traveled from a strange affection and excitement to fear and despair.

And now there was trust - like a base for every other feeling. Even if my heart throbbed nervously when Vegas approached me with hungry eyes, even when he took control over my body, hurting me physically, taking me as he wished - under all this feelings of excitement and arousing fear and pain, there was trust.

Trust like an indestructible fundament. It made me safe and free at the same time.

And that brought me to the main question which caused me to doubt myself:

Why did my soul decide it was the best to loose Vegas completely - to forget every jigsaw of our story?

I was sure I would only find the answer if I found out what happened after the safe house. I wished I could turn back time, before I lost my memories. But what would I do then? How could I have prevented that from happening?

I felt guilty.

Guilty, because it wasn't physically. I didn't got a head injury and lost my memories. It just happened and so I felt like it was my fault. Did I choose to forget? How could I ever choose this?! How could I ever leave him behind again?!