ÈGOÏSTE |18+ [English Version]

Chapter 53. "Madness."

"Man is an animal who has gone mad. There are two ways out of this madness: he must become an animal again; or he must become more than human..."

- Carl Gustav Jung

A few weeks later...

On behalf of Edmund:

I don't know and can't understand at all what's happening to me... I use to somehow forget this trash, who just trampled me, laughed at me, I do not understand how to forget her, as if we had nothing really, but every time I remember her something terrible awakens in me, like an animal instinct, like a predator attacking a shy deer ...

I was going crazy, and I knew it, but I couldn't do anything about it...

I pushed the gas, the speedometer needle had already risen to two hundred kilometers per hour, my baby was flying, and maybe that was my end? Maybe it was time to stop and just commit suicide.

You ask me why I'm thinking this way? Can strong people like me just give up and end their lives like that?

I'll tell you this and remember it forever, "The strong are always killed by the weak..."

Love is very scary, it's hard to imagine the feelings of love in reverse, imagine for one second what it's like when you love someone very much and in the same moment you start to hate them.

- Edmund, stop! Stop it! - A voice inside me shouted, and I opened my eyes and hit the brakes sharply. If only I'd been a little more, I'd have gone off the cliff and made my life count...

***

All these days Joanna Morris lay motionless in her bed, staring at the ceiling and watching the fan diligently fighting the poster of her favorite band, she hung "BTS" almost everywhere she could, immersing herself in their songs the only way she could come to her senses and calm down...

A lonely tear rolled down the girl's cheek, she did not eat, did not get up and did not want to do anything...

There was a knock at the door, - Johanna, - opened the door quietly, her mother, Isabella was trying to cheer her daughter up, to know what really happened, but she was silent, as if she had forgotten how to speak...

- Darling," she sat down beside her and stroked her hair, "please say something... - almost crying, said Isabella, - I suffer ten times more than you, tell me what happened, Joanna?

But, Joanna was silent, she closed her eyes and just wanted to die, but she was weak, she would never be able to do such a thing, though she dreamed of it inside...

The only thing she wanted now was to see Edmund Wright's eyes again, his smile and his snide laugh, to go with him again to Target and buy a lot of ice cream and sweets and just hold him and never let him go again...

Love is crazy, it's such a feeling, you can't explain it, but one thing Joanna knew for sure, love blows your mind, you forget about all the problems, quarrels, resentments, depressions, you think only about him, about the person who has settled in your heart and every time, you dream of seeing him again and hearing his voice...

Edmund was a bad guy, just the way you're used to seeing teenage love movies, where the bad guy falls in love with the simpleton... But, the movie called "life" that Joanna had was not like the others, for here she was the one to blame, as if she had been manipulated by the Devil himself, since she had been able to give up so much and make a terrible mistake...

Love is beautiful, but also very poisonous, it is dangerous as a terrible trap that can not be recognized, it plays with your life and your mind, love knows no boundaries, but at the same time it has exactly the final station ...