Her Blue Skies

Chapter 33

Galing sa gym ay deretcho na lamang akong umuwi dahil malamang ay aligaga si Marvic sa mga bisita...ko. Sa gym ko ibinuhos lahat ng namumuong kaba sa dibdib ko, at doon na rin ako nag-isip, kinakabahang pumasok ako, akala ko ay mga tulog pa sila pagkauwi ko dahil tahimik, past the foyer nang tahakin ko na ang great room sumalubong sa akin ang mabangong amoy ng sinangag, may nagluluto ng almusal sa kusina at alam kong hindi si Marvic iyon, Marvic is a good cook but, the aroma of it wasn't something that Marvic cooks.

Sabay-sabay na lumingin sa akin ang limang taong tahimik na nakaupo lamang.

"Oh, good morning to you too." Clary's eyes hovered over my body shamelessly.

Looking at her meaningfully, I tilted my head before turning my back to them sumunod sa akin si Ry paakyat na nakuha kaagad ang pinupunto ko.

"You should've told us sooner that you'd go clubbing," I started, making her stop from seating on my bed. I sighed when I noticed her staring while I'm picking some comfortable clothes. "You got us worried, I know Marvic already said these but next time let us know ahead of time so we wouldn't be rushing past midnight—I can't believe I'm saying this." Valry seem to be the matured one between the siblings.

She sat on my bed now looking amused, slightly entertained, and serious at the same time. Her intense gaze lingering at me as if assessing my whole damn life. Only Ry could make me cuss without me knowing.

"I will." That's it. Simple. But she said it staring at me as if saying 'I will because I know you've been traumatized, defeated all your demons alone, and you don't want us to experience hell as you did, I will, so you don't have to worry so much next time' that, her eyes said those. My soul already transcribe it for me.

I threw my clothes at her face in annoyance, I hate that Ry could be the most annoying yet endearing.

Naabutan kong nag-aalmusal sila sa dining nang matapos akong magbihis, I planted a kiss on Marvs head before sitting on my designated seat, walang nakaupo sa kabisera dahil wala si mom.

Tinignan ko sina Handaya, mukang masama ang timpla nito at hindi na talaga nakapaghintay. "We didn't go all the way here just to eat breakfast in front of you, what the fuck?"

I immediately sat properly by hearing those. My heart racing.

"Hadri, tumigil ka," Jacinthe tried to relax her but Handaya slapped the table, almost exploding in anger. Takot ang gumapang sa sistema ko.

"No! Bigla kang nawala tapos pagkatapos ng ilan? Limang taon! Lima! Hinanap ka namin pero hindi ka lang pala nagpapakita!? Anong kagaguhan 'to?"

Lima? Halos hindi ko maiwasang magbilang ng taon sa kamay ko, limang taon na pala ang nagdaan bago ko sila muling nakita. Masyadong matagal.

Ngayong nasa harapan ko na nga sila, lalo akong napapaisip, am I really that important to them?

Masama ang tinging ipinukol ni Handaya sa akin. "Bumalik ka sa 'min kundi iuumpog kita, marami kang kasalanan." Mahigpit kong naikuyom ang kamay sa ilalim ng mesa. "Pinaiyak mo si Jacin, si Gali, lalo na si Ioana kakahanap sa 'yo, sa tingin mo nakakatuwa 'yon? Wala kang tiwala sa 'min, nasa tabi mo kami pero hindi ka nagsasabi, tapos ngayon ang lakas ng loob mong kalimutan kami?"

Parang sinipak ng napakalakas ang puso ko, tinapakan, lumubog.

"Putangina. Hadri, manahimik ka nga inaaway mo nanaman—"

"Pero mahal ka pa rin namin kaya sa ayaw mo o sa gusto mo narito kami, you should know that we're coming back because no one could ever replace you as our best friend, mahal ka namin, hindi ka namin iwawala ulit sa paningin namin, tandaan mo 'yan."

Natahimik sila habang ako ay napapakurap nalang sa kanila.

Ano rin ba ang ginawa sa 'yo ng mundo sa loob ng limang taon Had?

Ang dating Handaya na laging binabara ko ay nagtago na sa likod ng muka niyang puno ng otoridad.

Nakita kong binatukan ni Gali si Hadri at sunuway dahil ang sama pa rin ng tingin sa akin kahit nangingilid ang luha, halata sa namumula niyang mata at tenga.

We watched her cry silently in front of us, si Hadri ang pinaka nasaktan ko sa kanilang tatlo, she might've became hard as rock right now but still I was able to make her cry. We were the closes after all.

Jacinthe stood up and walked away.

Naiwan kaming talo nina Marvic at Clary sa hapag nang sunod-sunod silang umalis sa harapan namin, the two went to the powder room while Jacinthe maybe went straight to the garden o sa kung saan man siya dalhin ng paa niya. 

"I'm okay," sabi ko kaagad bago pa ako kunsultahin ni Marvic. Tinuloy ko ang pagsandok sa sinangag ni Jacinthe, the two remained silent, tinuloy rin ang pagkain.

"They clearly need an explanation." I know, Ry.

"An explanation also means reliving the past, Clary." Marvic tapped the napkin on her lips. "The question is, are you ready to give them answers?"

Hindi ako nakasagot nang makita kong pabalik si Jacinthe, halatang galing sa pag-iyak, as for me, I couldn't seem to cry anymore—I've been bawling my eyes out for how pitiful my life have gone. No more tears left.

"I haven't heard you say anything at all, Ron."

Our eyes met. My hand unconsciously scratched my brow, a bit nervous. "Y-you're still a good cook."

She sighed heavily after that. "Idiot."

Ubos ko na ang pagkain ko nang bumalik sina Engineer Isagani at ang nakabusangot pa rin na si Handaya. Tinanguan ko sila bago magpaalam na maghihintay na lamang muna sa living room, hindi na sumunod pa sina Ry nang makita si Jacinthe na sumunod sa akin, napabugtong-hininga ako. I don't want to be unfair to them because I know I've been unfair to Engineer Carson but...

"I'm really sorry, Jacinthe..."

Umiling ito, sa ibinigay niyang ngiti ay napaiwas ako ng tingin. Naluluha na rin ito. "It was Gali who almost lost herself by dropping everything important in her own life for us. Had was the most hurt when you disappeared, not once she thought of giving up on you. I...had to pretend as if things were just fine while I felt like I'm losing the three of you all at once." Hindi na ako nakagalaw pa nang yumakap ito sa akin. "You don't have to say sorry to me because I'm just so happy we found you, alive."

I am alive. I'm glad that I am alive too.

"Putangina mo talaga, Ronin, bakit may yakapan nang wala kami." Napasinghap ako sa narinig mula kay Handaya, hindi na rin nakagalaw dahil sa mahigpit nilang yakap sa akin. I don't have the courage to tell them everything that happened to me, I just apologized, for everything, for the pain, for waiting.

Handaya was kneeling in front of me, she looked like she was so ready to murder a soul in hell by the way she clench her fist galit ito kahit hindi niya alam kung kanino magagalit, Gali cried so much she couldn't care less with Marvic being around and Jacinthe never let go of me even after crying her heart out seeing the two cry, my shirt was drenched with her tears. They apologized repeatedly for not being there, kahit hindi naman nila kasalanan, kahit hindi nila alam ang totoo. That's how good their heart is.

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