Part 34

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Rafe's POV:
I smacked my hand angrily against the door that they were keeping her behind. I knew she couldn't hear me, but they could. I just needed to know that she was okay.

A doctor came out, opening and closing the door so quickly that I couldn't see what was happening inside.

'Sir, you need to calm down or we're going to have to remove you from the premises.' He said softly, looking down the hall as Kelce ran towards me, leaning against the wall to catch his breath.

'Is she okay?' He asked the doctor, looking between us both.

'She is stable. We have been able to remove the bullet, we just need to check her vitals once more and then you'll be able to see her. Please take a seat.' He said, pointing towards the chairs opposite the door.

Kelce did as he said, but I stood exactly where I was. This was all my fault.

'Rafe, man, sit down and then you'll be able to see her quicker. Let the doctor go inside and do his job.' Kelce warned, moving over and making space for me to sit down.

I hesitated, before taking the seat, wiping one finger along my mouth, before resting my head in my hands. I was still bleeding excessively, but I didn't want to leave her until I knew she was okay.

The sound of the hospital was really starting to freak me out. The constant beeping of her heart monitor made me feel nervous, as I waited for a slight change in rhythm, indicating that something had gone terribly wrong.

'Why did you let her leave?' I asked, not even looking up at Kelce as I began to speak.

I knew it wasn't fair to blame him, but if it wasn't him, it was myself. And I knew that he could've kept her behind, or come to get her after she ran for me, but he didn't.

'I had no idea she was going to run, bro. It was dark and I couldn't see and then suddenly the doors open and she's gone.' He said softly, trying his hardest to avoid an argument.

'You could've come to save her, pull her back downstairs before she got to my room.' I argued, angry now that he was trying to plead his innocence.

'Rafe, I had no idea where you were, and who had a gun. I couldn't risk making things worse.' He responded, bouncing his knee on the floor.

'You mean, you couldn't risk getting hurt? You didn't want to get shot, so you let her run, is that what you mean?' I said, standing up and beginning to pace, as we still had no word from the doctors.

'You know that's not a fair thing to say.' He sighed.

I span to look at him, angry that he was trying to play victim despite my girlfriend being on life support. I clenched my fists, taking a deep breath, before lowering them, knowing that if I was to start another scene, I'd be forced to leave.

'She's the last person I wanted hurt, Kelce.' I responded, shaking my head as I took my seat again, getting weird looks from the people in the hallway.

'I know, but it's okay. She's gonna be fine.' He said calmly.

'How the fuck can you say that? She's been shot in the fucking chest, Kelce, because of me!' I shouted, slamming my hand down on the armrest of the chair, not even able to look at him.

The doors swung open and the doctor from before stood staring at me, as if he was waiting for me to calm down before he told me what he had to say. He opened the door a little wider, holding his arm out, letting me know I could go in.

'Just be aware that she might not be very responsive right now. It'll take a couple of hours for the medication to wear off, but she's okay, it's nothing to worry about.' He warned, stepping to the side for me to come in.

Kelce waited outside, knowing that I'd need some time alone with her before anyone else got to see her. Her parents weren't even aware of what happened. I had been so selfish, wanting to be the only one to love her, that I'd failed to let her family know she'd been shot in the chest.

There she was, eyes closed, lying still in the hospital bed, peaceful. I took a heavy breath, trying to control my breathing as my heart began to race. I knew that she wasn't, but she looked dead. I sat down besides her, taking her limp hand in mine and rubbing my fingers along her soft, cold skin.

'She might be able to hear you, you can speak to her, if it helps.' A nurse in the corner of the room said, not taking her eyes away from the computer screen she was working on.

I nodded, moving so that I was sat on the edge of the bed, slowly lifting up her hospital gown to look at her stomach. The bullet was certainly gone, but the scar that was left would haunt her as much as it would me.

'I'm so sorry. I tried my hardest to keep you safe, I thought you'd be safe in the bathroom.' I said, not quite sure what I wanted to say, especially with the nurse listening to us in the corner of the room.

As if she'd heard my thoughts, she got up and left, telling me she give me a few minutes of peace, closing the door behind us and leaving us alone.

'I don't deserve you. I really don't fucking deserve you, but I've got you. And that's all that matters, right?' I said, my voice shaking as i almost expected a response.

'Please wake up, love, I just need to know that you're okay.' I whispered, bringing her hands to my face, burying my head in-between them, knowing that I was too strong to cry.

'I'm gonna get my shit together, okay? We'll move somewhere far away, where you're safe. I won't let anyone touch you again, I won't let my mistakes effect your life.' I explained, the guilt of murdering Peterkin finally setting in.

'Fuck, fuck, Mia, please wake the fuck up!' I shouted, beginning to get desperate now, letting go of her hands and standing up, looking around the room, almost as if I was looking for an answer.

I looked down at the empty chain around her neck. She'd always worn it, waiting for it to be filled with an engagement ring when we grew up. But I looked down at my hands, pulling off one of my rings and unclasping her necklace, before putting my ring onto it and wrapping it back around her neck.

'I'm in love with you, okay? And I know I don't say it enough. But I love you, and I'll always love you. You're the only girl I've ever loved.' I said quietly, just loud enough for her to hear me.

She was still not moving. I took a deep breath, bouncing one knee up and down, fiddling with my fingers as I tried not to scream. Not knowing when she would wake was eating me up inside, and I just wanted to explain myself to her.

'I'm trying my hardest. I don't want to be better for myself, I want to be better for you. Please, open your eyes angel, please.' I begged, knowing that I had nothing left in me.

There was nothing more I could say to wake her up, it would have to be in her own time. But I didn't want to wait, I wanted her to wake up right now, tell me that it was okay, that she still loved me.

I looked down at the floor, ready to give up, ready to make myself comfortable on the wooden chair besides her bed and sleep until she woke up.

'Rafe.'

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