Desire 2: Caged

23

"Does this make me gay?" I laid there and thought. I've gotten myself into something and I don't see any good coming from it. Still unsure of what I had gotten myself into, I laid there in a state of disbelief until, my mind decided to crash and I fell asleep.

The next day I woke up, physically refreshed but still mentally and emotionally drained. I decided to not leave my cell, I didn't want to see Ja'Zaye. I felt used. I sat there wondering about Mitch. Why would he act weird and then apologize to me? This whole thing is messy from each angle and I need to learn how to allow things to bypass me, instead of always falling victim to deceit. It's almost like I'm giving myself and I have to stop.

I sat on my bunk, reading my book and reached a part of the story where the character's mom and her had a heart to heart and it made me really miss my mom. Everyday is hard for me, because I'm still confused as to how I got here or why and I hated always calling my mom. I'm sure her conscious was heavy enough. We agreed to never speak of that night again. I don't call as often as I did when I first got locked up, because she's always sad when we talk. I decided to not call her, and calling her would mean going out and I honestly wasn't up to it.

I dozed off while reading my book and was awakened by the sound of tapping on the cell.

"INMATE, LET'S GO!" Mitch called.

"Go where? What's going on?" I asked

"Don't worry about it, just get up and let's go." He demanded

I obliged and submitted to being cuffed. Mitch escorted me down the hall and through a set of doors outside of the dorm. Before I knew it, we were in forbidden hall.

"Mitch, what's going on?" I nervously asked.

He said nothing as he reached into his pocket, giving me intense eye contact.
I was nervous.

"Mitch, please.., Please don't hurt me." I cried

He started to unlock my cuffs.

"Listen, I'm not going to hurt you?"

"Why are we here?"

"Listen, Deysire. I am not trying to hurt you. Being mean to you, protects us both. I can keep my job and as long as I'm here, I can protect you."

"Protect me? From what? Why me?"

"From this! You don't belong here and I know that, I just have to maintain face with the other guards. Griffin started to notice how soft I was on you and was complaining."

"What do you want in return?"

"Nothing! I have to be obedient to GOD and I just keep getting this urge to shield you, I'm not trying to do anything illegal. Just understand, that I am not your enemy."

"Why did we have to come here?"

"Unfortunately, it's okay to bring inmates back here to sexually assault them. I figured as long as this was the cover up, they'd turn a blind eye."

"Take me back." I said

I didn't have much to say, how do I know that Mitch is really who he say he is? I said nothing on the way back to my cell.

Once back at my cell, I was surprised to find Rayna in there talking with Ja'Zaye.

"Hey, Cry baby. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's cool."

"Hey there, Deysire." Ja'Zaye spoke

"Hey." I said looking away.

Rayna looked at me and walked over to me
"Well, Ja'Zaye wants to holla at you, so I'm going to the day room." she said.

I was hoping she wouldn't leave me alone with her but she did.

"So, we had a good time last night, huh?" She said while walking towards me.

"Ja'Zaye, what do you want?"

"You."

"Listen, last night was a mistake."

"And you're not gay and yada yada yada. I get it."

"So, what do you want?"

"To get you out of here and taste you from time to time in the meantime."

"Leave me alone, I'm not getting involved with you and whatever it is that you think you're going to do."

She smiled at me.
"The way you were riding my face last night didn't seem like you didn't want to be involved."

"Well, I don't."

"Just hear me out. I don't want to turn you out, I'm sorry if you feel like I took advantage of you. I just really need your help and can offer your freedom in return."