Dean's Dixon

To the end of the line

After the events at the CDC the group took a couple of days to regroup and to wrap their brains around what they'd learned, what they'd been through, and who they'd lost. Most seemed perfectly content with moving on and not mentioning it ever again, Andrea was pissed at Dale, Dean was using humor as a coping mechanism and June... June had gone into complete shock.

Whether people wanted to admit it or not, Jenner almost murdered all of them. It wasn't a bite from the mindless dead, an injury, an illness or even going peacefully in their sleep that nearly did them in. It was a seemingly rational human being who had decided life was no longer worth living and thought bringing them along for the ride was the best course of action. Whenever she closed her eyes she could hear his calm voice speaking into the camera, hear the sobbing of the kids and the pleading from the mothers, she could hear Rick trying to talk sense into the man, and she could hear Jacqui telling T-Dog she was staying... but none of that, absolutely none of it had affected her as badly as watching her brother lose his mind.

Daryl had gone from zero to sixty in an instant and it was his screams, his cursing, his swinging the axe to get them out and the sound it made against the door and windows that was making it nearly impossible for her to move on, because in their entire lives, Daryl had always been the one too keep his cool when they were in trouble. He did it for June, always for June, but that day his fear and anger had washed over the both of them like a tidal wave of panic and her brain had completely shut down. To say that none of the Dixons were very good at coping would be the understatement of the century. Merle used, Daryl drank, June either got piss drunk with Daryl or simply ignored the issue and all three of them had tempers that would make the devil shiver... This time though she couldn't ignore things, not when it was tied completely to her brother, the man she adored more than anyone else in the world.

"June, we're headin out tomorrow. Pack your shit."

"Done."

"Then get it outta the truck and put it on the bike."

"The truck?"

"Yeah, somethin in the engine got fucked up cause of the blast and it stopped runnin. Dean thinks he could fix it but we ain't got the time and..." for the first time since they'd escaped the CDC did Daryl take a real good look at his sister and he didn't like what he was seeing. She may be looking at him but it felt more like she was looking through him. "Junie"

"Hmm?"

She was in a daze and he kicked himself for not noticing it earlier. He would never call his sister weak, knowing better than that, but this wasn't the first time he'd seen her like this. His mind took him back to 17 years ago when he walked in to see his baby sister bleeding from her cheek, her eyes glassy and a faraway look in them. It had scared the shit out of him and though he'd gotten her to the hospital and stitched up, it was still a week until she had snapped out of the shock. The memory had him wanting to be gentle with her and help ease her out of this, time simply wasn't a luxury they had anymore.

"June, come on sugar I need ya to be strong for me." Placing his pack on the ground, he sat next to her on the curb and took her hand in his. "Talk ta me."

"I'm fine."

"You're lyin." She had always hated being called out whenever she chose to omit certain facts. Especially by Daryl. Her blank expression turned to a grumpy one and while it wasn't perfect, it was a move in the right direction. "It's me June, ain't nobody knows you better than me. So talk ta me, tell me what's got you in knots."

"It's nothin"

"It's not nothin. Lie ta me again and we're gonna have problems."

She didn't want to talk about this. She wanted to block it all out, which is what she'd been attempting to do for days. She wanted to drown out the memory of her brother's screams and the panicked cries of Sophia and Carol. She wanted to forget that she'd been physically pulled out of the room by Daryl because she had completely froze and couldn't get her feet to work. She wanted to forget Sam throwing her behind a blockade as the grenade went off and she wanted to forget the smell of the explosion and the dead that permeated the air once everything went up in flames. She wanted to but all she managed to do was keep herself locked away in her mind and that could put people in danger, people she loved and cared about.

"We almost died Daryl. That man almost blew us the hell up!"

"I know it but we got out."

"Not all of us... not Jacqui."

"That was her choice, not one I'd make for you or myself, but she wanted to opt out. Not much we coulda done ta stop her."

"I know that and I can't really blame her for making it. After Jim, after Amy... but ya know what's really been botherin me Daryl? More than the thought of us dyin, more than the people we lost..."

"What?"

"You. I ain't never seen you that scared before. It was the first time I could really tell that ya thought we weren't gonna get out of somethin. The way you were screamin... I wanted ta help but seein you and everyone else like that... it's like my brain turned off and I hate myself for it. You're always so strong for me and in a moment where you needed me, I wasn't able to be that for you."

"Oh June... that ain't your fault. Everyone reacts different to things and besides, I'm your big brother. It's my job ta be the strong one."

"But ya shouldn't haveta be. I talked so much shit back at the camp about not wantin ta be treated like a child, got on Sam for freezing up during the walker attack, and then when it was important for me ta be on top of shit I did the same thing. I fucking froze... I f..."

She couldn't have continued if she wanted and just like the day they lost Merle, she turned into her brother and broke down. The others had been busy with the RV so they were given a little bit of privacy, but Daryl still wrapped her in a tight hug and moved her so he could shield her from prying eyes.

"I got ya Junie and when push comes ta shove, I know you've got me too."

"How? How do ya know that?" she sobbed, burying her face in his shirt.

"Because ya always have before" he figured she would need a few minutes before she could form another sentence so he kept talking to her, telling her the things he always thought but rarely said. "You've always been a scrappy little thing, not afraid ta pick up a big ass stick and whoop someone's ass. Specially if they was messin with me. You've cussed out drug dealers and cops for me. You've ripped dumb bitches hair out for me and while I know most these people think you're this quiet, obedient girl, I know better. I know that out of anyone in the world, you are the person I want on my side in a fight 'cause if anyone's gonna beat someone's ass, it's gonna be my baby sister."

A stifled sniff brought his attention back to her face and he was glad to see her actually looking at him. Not through him. Her blue eyes were bloodshot from crying but he had his June back.

"Ya mean all that?"

"Course I do. I know I don't always show it the best but I love ya June."

"But the shit at the CDC..."

"We were locked inside a big, metal building with a damn robot countin down to our death while some psycho talked to a camera... not exactly an everyday situation. I don't blame ya for reacting like that."

"Really?"

"Really. You and me."

"To the end of the line."

"That's my girl."

"I love you too Daryl."

"I know it." he brushed the hair out of her eyes and wiped the tears from her face, his hand resting on her cheek and waiting for her to catch her breath. "Now, lets get the hell outta here."