His secret

Chapter 24

"Sunshine..." he wipes away a tear on my cheek as he tries to speak, but I interrupt him because I really have to get this out. "And that's not even all of it. You know how I've tried to get you to open up. I apologize for that. I get why you don't want to share things with me now. I wouldn't either. I've been so self-centered for all of these years you've given up on even speaking about your problems with me. I mean I don't even know how you love..." a pair of hot lips press hard against my lips at such a speed that makes my head hit the wall behind me. All of my previous anxious feelings fade, leaving room for the new warm feeling that only he can make me feel. My heart was already beating fast, making it hard for me to breathe out of fear and uncertainty but now it's beating fast in excitement. Oh, how I've missed this. Never did I think that I could become addicted to a pair of lips, to his lips, my former best friend's lips. 

He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against mine while holding my face in his hands and looking into my eyes. But my lips can't accept the cold that they're left in after the warm kiss, so i try to reach up to his mouth to kiss him again but he backs away just enough to let me know that he doesn't want my kiss. "Never doubt my love for you ever again, do you understand?" his grip on my face tightens before he pulls me into his chest with one of his hands pressed against my head. He embraces me hard as if he can't get enough of me and wants me under his skin. "I would gladly show you how much I love you in other ways to make you believe. But because I told you that I respect your decision you'll just have to believe my words, for now, because I'm a man of my word," he plants a kiss on my head that last a few seconds. "But I failed you," my words come out as a vague whisper. 

"You never failed me. You made me feel things I never thought I would be able to feel with anyone. You give meaning to my life. It is you that makes me excited to wake up every morning and go on with my day. You see this place," his hands leave my head suddenly making it feel empty as he points at the living room before he continues "it was just a place I slept in, now I can finally call it home. And you know why? Because it never felt like home before you moved in here with me. Hell I could sleep on the streets and call it home as long as you're there with me," my face is in his hands again and my swollen eyes are facing his 

"And I don't know why you're so obsessed with me not telling you anything. What is it that you feel like you don't know about me? You know me better than anyone cared to ever get to know me, besides that punk Alexis of course. What's my favorite color?"

"Red," I answer with a sob. "What's my favorite place?" 

"The garden two blocks behind your old high school because you and a friend of yours, which I now guess is Alexis, used to spend a lot of time there when things didn't feel right anywhere else. It was and still is like a comfort place." I can feel myself calm down to his words. "What food do I like the most?" 

"You like everything. You don't have a favorite dish because you really enjoy food. And as far as you know there isn't a thing that you don't like, as long as it's cooked properly." 

"You see, you know even the small details about me. I could go on but I don't see a need for that. What more is there to know?" he gives me the sweetest smile I've ever seen on his face. "What about your family?" the smile that lasted a few seconds faded. "My not wanting to talk about that has nothing to do with you personally. It's just not my favorite topic, and talking about it just... hurts. But seeing you scolding yourself like that hurts even more so I'm gonna talk about it, just this once." now I'm the one smiling, probably looking like an idiot as hope fills my whole body. "I'm an orphan, my father was a pilot and died in a plane crash when I was twelve years old. My mother couldn't live with the thought of losing him so she became an addict." he takes pause as his gaze leaves mine, focusing on the floor instead. 

"One of my teachers learned about it a while later and reported it, causing my mother to lose me in a lawsuit. I guess it became too much for her, losing my father, then losing the one reminder of him left for her, me so she simply took her life" a gasp left my mouth as I tried to process what he had just told me. I've always thought that I would feel relieved when finally learning something more about Miles's family and past, but relived is the last feeling that my body is familiar with right now. I feel a lump form in my stomach as my eyes welcome a refill of tears. A part of me even wishes that I never got to know any of this because it's too hard to handle. 

How did he live through something like that? Did he have someone by his side back then? In how many ways did it affect him? Was he well treated in the orphanage? These are all questions that I wanted to ask him, and I know it's my only chance to do that. Because as soon as we had closed this topic there was no going back to it again, talking about it just... hurts. I'm gonna talk about it, just this once. He had said. But I also know that pushing him is the last thing I should be doing now so instead I just go back to our hug that he broke to talk to me. "Thank you," I tell him as I feel his arms joining around my back. "For what, Sunshine?" 

"For telling me. It really meant the world." A few minutes of silence pass by as we stand here in each other's arms and I'm not complaining. I really don't mind standing like this for the rest of my life. "I actually have something for you," I lift my head to look at him. "What?" 

"Why don't you go and take a look for yourself, It's in the bedroom." Without any other words, I break free from his hands and run towards the bedroom, eager to know what it is that he has bought for me. Nothing. The bedroom that I get into is just the same one that I left this morning. Nothing more and nothing less. I look around, lift things, and open drawers in vain because there isn't a single thing here. "Miles I can't find it!" I call for him. "Oh is that so? Wait I think I found it here in my pocket. Come out here and get it." I follow his words out to the living room again where I find him... I... The unbelievable sight before me becomes blurry with the tears that fill my eyes. I've been crying a lot today, but this one time, it's out of happiness. Miles is on the ground, on one knee with a jewelry box in his hand. I can't believe that he's proposing. I look down at his clothes and I notice that they are pretty, and proposing-acceptable because he as usually is dressed nicely. He's wearing e pair of grey suit pants and a white long-sleeved shirt. 

"I had other plans that I've been working on for a while with Alexis. That's kind of why I've been 'working' late for the past week," he air quoted the word working with his free hand that was resting on his lap. "because Alexis has to be at the restaurant when you're there because of your beginner-stage so that only left us time for when you get off work. By the way, wish me luck with telling Alexis that I just screwed everything up and proposed to you at home, he will eat me alive with his words when he finds out. But I just couldn't wait and let you go around like that questioning my love for you." he continues which I'm really grateful for because I'm clueless about what to say. "So that leaves me with one question, Sunshine. Will you, Nova Devis do me the honor and marry me? P.S. our honeymoon destination is Bali if you say yes."