severus' tale ( snapetober 2021 )

iv. don't you feel small

"REGRETS"

***

you didn't want to admit that your feelings for severus had become obvious. you didn't want anyone to know for that matter. the only person that could know was him. after muggle studies, you were quick to find him leaving the divination classroom. you found your classmate and best friend leaving the class, quick to jump besides him.

"merlin y/n! don't do that again." severus sighed as he was startled by your appearance. you giggled and walked with him to the great hall.

you asked him how his class went, he admitted that this was one of the more tamer lessons. he didn't have any of james potter's nonsense but sirius black was always one that dug into him a little harder than usual.

you frowned, granted both you and severus was the source of bullying from james' little clique but you couldn't help but get upset at the face that severus always got the short end of the stick. he just felt small. weak.

"hey, who needs them when you have me, right?" you said, nudging him playfully and reassuring that you would be there for him.

you grabbed some lunch to go, severus didn't get anything but you insisted on him getting him something light.

you both headed into the school's field, nibbling your lunch and reading peacefully together. this was what most of your days consisted of with him, and you both seemed to like it.

you were more focused elsewhere, thinking about how you were finally going to pluck up the courage that you liked him, and that you wanted to be more than just friends.

"you're shaking y/n. are you okay?" severus asked.

"i'm fine." you answered.

"well you're not. you've been very quiet." he said.

you looked away from your book, putting it down and looking at severus. you were hesitant to speak, looking away from him from time to time.

"you know how you told me...that you've always wanted me around." you said. severus nodded, his brows furrowed.

"well...i really. god how do i put this without sounding stupid? severus, i really really like you. like i want to be with you for the rest of my life with you. i just want to spend every day with you and...i love you." you confessed.

severus' eyes widened. he was shocked, nothing came out of his mouth. worry grew inside you.

"y/n...i really appreciate that you do want me around but..."

"but what sev?"

severus got up. "i can't do this, i've hurt so many people and i can't hurt you." he got up walking away.

you felt your heart shatter, now you were by yourself. your tears brimming your eyes, as you were left heartbroken.

there was nobody else that loved you, now you were on your own.

***

there was no doubt that time had passed between the two of you, severus had become potions professor at hogwarts. he had no idea what had happened to you, but regardless of what you had done in your life, severus would wish you the best.

he was at diagon alley, needing to stock up on quills and inks. looking around, he could only see one thing that was everywhere. time's keeper. the debut novel by y/n l/n. the best selling novel in the wizarding world.