Unrequited

Chapter 33: Defies Logic

Author's Note:  /Denotes internal thoughts/

In this chapter, while Prime is upset and feels responsible for Orianna's pain, I did not want to portray Prime as being utterly heart broken and wracked with guilt as he is still processing how he feels about what has transpired. While he feels there is something there between them, a deep connection, it can't be love, or what he knows to be love, as she is a human and he is Cybertronian. After all, as far as Prime's concerned at this point in time, a human woman and Transformer can NOT form a romantic attachment it simply defies logic.

Prime P.O.V

/How did it come to this? How did it go so wrong between us so quickly?/.

I stood there on our beach, my processor and spark alternating between shock and pain in rapid, successive waves as I watched Orianna's form disappear between the trees. Once again, as seemed to often be the case when it came to Orianna, I was at a loss as to what to say or do. In this moment – I was horrendously out of my depth and utterly perplexed. Confused not only by Orianna's wholly unexpected heartfelt confession and kiss, but by my own reactions and feelings on the matter.

I brought a hand up to brush against my lips, lightly touching where moments before soft, warm lips had moved against my own. A touch that had felt at once foreign, having been so incredibly long since I had felt such a sensation and not being metallic dermas, and yet, it was intoxicating. The sensation set a strange mixture of emotions coursing through me as her lips and the way they moved against my own, seemed to awaken within me a need that I never expected to feel given she is a human and not of my kind.

My hand moved slowly from my lips to my chest, where my spark chamber would reside in my bi-pedal form, and I stared silently out towards the moonlit waters as they wrinkled before me. My spark hadn't felt love or desire for another in millennia. /Not since Elita/, the thought hit me like a mental slap. After that ended in utter spark ache and loss, I wasn't sure I ever wanted to feel that for another again. It was just too painful to give your spark to someone, only to lose them.

I closed my eyes, recalling in detail the intimate contact between us. Her warm breath on my face, her soft lips moving against mine, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck pulling our bodies together. That sound she made against my mouth as I returned her kiss, the heat that seemed almost palpable between us. In that moment, I wanted to feel love and desire again – with her.

Almost at once, the images shifted within my processor, and I saw Orianna fleeing from me, her painfilled sobs echoing down the beach towards me. I was immediately assailed with images that haunted me. Her face as it crumpled in grief and sorrow. The look in her beautiful eyes when I told her I did not love her. The streams of tears that cascaded down her cheeks and pooled at the corners of lips that trembled. The bitter, angry accusatory tone in her voice that turned into something even worse – abject misery and utter defeat.

I shifted on my feet as I clutched at my chest above my spark. My spark ached, it felt heavy, and it pulsed erratically at the dissonance of emotions flooding through me, through my processor. Shame, guilt, fear, anger, concern, worry, regret. This human woman, whom I had known for almost two years, had stirred within me feelings I had neither wanted nor felt for millennia and it had both shocked and scared me. The fact I felt such strong emotions and physical responses from a simple kiss was not the issue. The fact I felt them with Orianna, because of Orianna - was!

/She is a human woman!/.

Though I had no need to breathe, I felt my chest rise and fall as I struggled to reel my emotions in, and I wrestled with my thoughts and deliberations. I felt my lips purse together tightly in confusion and frustration. I had come to admire and respect what humans were capable of given their fragility and relatively short lifespans. I also appreciated their courage and bravery in taking up the fight against our foes, the Decepticons. While there were some similarities between our races and much to be celebrated about the humans, I could not see how two such vastly different species could be thus connected. /By desire and love!/.