The Blood Order

XLIV

I hold my palms in front of me trying to understand what just happened. Athena lays dead on the ground, body bent in a horrid angle. The servants stop to look, one of them making eye contact before running away. My knees hit the ground, tears welling up before falling down my cheeks. I killed someone and have no idea how.

"Love?" Raphael calls out from behind me, I keep my head low. This is it, this is reason I am finally killed, he wouldn't be able to tolerate me killing off someone, "Are you alright?" 

"She-she..." I point my finger at her, he nods at me forcing me to turn my head to look at him. His hands come to the side of my enclosing me in his grasp. She's dead, she's dead because of me.

"Come, let's get you cleaned up." 

While no dirt covers my skin, the itchiness from watching her slouch forward, the life leave her eyes was enough to make me feel like I dipped my skin in a corpse while rolling around. I need to be clean, and I need away from her. 

"She..." No words can form, my thoughts a jumbled mess. 

"It's okay, love. It's okay." He helps me wrap my legs around his waist carrying me through the manor. Fingers run through my hair sending waves of comfort down my spine. 

Raphael settles me on the bathroom counter going to the shower, the water tunes at some horrid thoughts, but I keep seeing the way her eyes drained. It was too real, and yet in that moment I was proud, happy even that was killing her. He grabs me off the counter pulling my clothing off piece by piece. I don't object, I don't deserve privacy. The clothes get thrown into a pile, his respect evident when he holds my gaze while shifting me into the shower. Warm water pours over my skin, a good distraction from my suicidal thoughts. 

Life for a life.

The King keeps the door open, standing there just to see me stay still. The shocks finally settled, and my bones have become cement blocks, "Sultana, do you need me to wash you?" 

I don't respond, he takes that as a yes. He uses a soap on the shower shelf running it over my skin. Gentle massages are done over my body while he works in the body soap, I let my eyes close together praying that this pleasure is never ending. Raphael takes his time on my hair as well, each knot working through with condition, shampooing twice, and even having me flip my head so he can get the base of my thick hair. 

"Time to get out." I step out, he wraps a towel around me, "Do you want to know what happened?" 

"I killed her." The words are quiet, barely able to be heard over the running water behind us. He shuts off the tap then runs his thumb over the tears that slip over my jaw, "Then puked in a potted bush." 

"The attendants cleaned everything up." He sighs moving me to the bed. I feel his tender touch while he wraps my hair up, a ghost kiss placed on my neck. 

"As my mate you share in my abilities, especially because you weren't gifted any of your own. I felt you use the power, and wasn't there to stop you before you killed her, I'm sorry love." 

I blow a raspberry, brain fucked out of my mind, "She told me that Myrina sent her and she was tasked with taking me from you. Something in me snapped and..." 

"That's the mate bond. Threats aren't taken lightly and as you become more adapt to our world that defense will only become stronger." 

"I didn't want to kill her, but I wanted to kill her." 

Raphael doesn't have much to say to that, just taking me into his arms before continuing, "I would have done the same thing, she was dead no matter what." 

"I've never killed a person... I was always the one begging to die." 

"Now it's your turn to be strong, love." He gives me a tight hug, I swallow down the bile that wants to rise up. 

"The worst part is," I choke back the tears forcing myself to say it, say the demon that his currently dancing in my closet, "I loved it."