Far from home|KTH

Turning tables

Emma was unable to grasp what just happened.

Her eyes stayed on Tae, his eyes pleading to her to just hear him out, but she wasn't ready. What she felt was defeat, grief and betrayal. She knew that she had no right to feel that way but she could not help it. Emotions that were connected to him were not logical, they were always strongly possessive.

In her head she had painted a flawless picture of him and that illusion came crashing down at this moment. Suddenly he felt like a typical man with typical manly behaviour.

A part of her felt rage.

For the sake of everyone at the party she turned her back to a pleading Tae and walked away. She didn't want to feel embarrassed in front of everyone.

She made it down half the driveway by the time he came running after her.

"Emma, please listen to me, hear me out please...She meant nothing to me, understand that I thought that I would never see you again", he said and pulled her by her arm to stop her and make her turn to face him.

His eyes radiated desperation.

"Tae...you don't owe me an explanation at all...seriously...", she replied.

"But I want to explain this to you. From the moment you reached out to me, there was only you on my mind, you were always on my mind to be honest. Please believe me", he kept pleading desperately.

Her eyes had a look he had never seen before. It was disappointment and it hurt more than anything.

"No really Tae, it's fine. I don't own you, we are just friends and we were nothing for a long time...I know I hurt you...it's fine. You had to deal with it....and you dealt with it with her", she said and gazed at him intensely until she couldn't bare it and closed her eyes.

"Emma...it's not that easy...I honestly don't want anyone but you. I should have told you about her, I'm sorry", he said and grabbed her hands in his. "Look at me please".

She opened her eyes and her anger turned to sadness like many times before.

"Damn it, I'm tired of crying over you", she yelled and hit his chest with her fists. "It's too much, I can't think straight", she yelled through her tears. "Why would you kiss me like that today? Why would you fuck me in the bathroom like that if you had her? Why? Revenge for breaking your heart?".

She stared at him with anger this time

"No baby, no. I did it because I wanted to, because I knew the moment you opened that door earlier today that there was never going to be any comparison to what you make me feel. Believe me please, I had no intention to hurt you", he said as he watched her teary eyes with pain.

She stared at him for a while, trying to read him. She wanted to believe him, but the shock of Maddy existing was still lingering.

"I want to believe you so bad Tae, I truly do...", she replied with a sad gaze.

"Then trust me...please", he said as his face got closer to hers, his lips lingering next to hers.

He grabbed her face and kissed her, and she wanted to kiss him back but she wasn't ready right now. She was angry at him for ruining her first night like this, for not telling her the truth. Accepting that Maddy existed could have been a choice if she had been given time to adjust to the thought.

"I can't...I have to go", she said and got out of his grip, turning her back to him and walking away.

"Emma...", he called.

He wasn't ready to let her walk away and walked after her until a firm arm stopped him.

"Man, I think that you have done enough for tonight", Namjoon said calmly. "Let her be for now".

Tae felt defeat overtake him and nodded obiently. Namjoon was her best friend, he didn't want to fight him.

"She will come around, don't worry. Just give her a little space tonight to process things...but seriously, she really missed you every day...badly. I know because I comforted her most nights...just be honest with her if she is what you want ", Namjoon said and gave him an encouraging tap on his shoulder before he went to find Emma and take her home.

Knowing that she had shared the same pain as him was strangely comforting, confirming that he wasn't alone in this madness of emotions with her. There had to be a reason for all this.

Namjoon found her sitting on the curb further down the road in her black dress. This wasn't the way they thought her night would end, and he felt for her.

As his steps approached her she looked up at him.

"Namjoon...", she managed to whimper before tears streamed down her confused face and she gasped for air.

"Hey, come here, it's okay...I know", he said and comforted her with a hug like many times before.

"What the fuck just happened? I feel so dumb", she whimpered.

"I know, but it's going to be okay, trust me. Just breath. I think that this first day has been a little emotionally overwhelming for you to be honest. I mean did you even think that he would welcome you with open arms like this? Your emotions must be all over the place right now", he said calmly.

Namjoon was right. She didn't know what to expect a few hours ago. It was just too easy for them to go right back to where they left off, life was never that easy.

"But he has someone...how could I do that to her? I feel so bad...I kissed someone, let him...you know...when there was someone waiting for him", she continued and wiped her tears on Namjoons shirt.

"Ah, seriously...only you would say something that stupid!", he burst out. "You don't owe her anything, Tae does. It's not your problem. Let him figure that out and you just focus on figuring yourself out".

"I just want him. I finally know what I want and it's him. It scares me to death to think that he could choose someone else, I don't want to lose him again", she said and let go of Namjoon.

"Then fight for him like he fought for you once upon a time...the tables have turned my friend. Men love that shit", he said with a smirk.

"I just don't know how...", she replied with a confused look.

"Oh you know. He loves you and you just have to remind him of what he fell in love with once", he replied with a smile. "Let's go back to the hotel, there are plenty of others days left on this trip. Hopefully a little less dramatic than this one".

The car stopped in front of them, the others already in it. Emma and Namjoon joined them and an awkward silence lingered for some time.

Jimin looked at Namjoon for answers but he shook his head, it wasn't the time.

"I know you all saw and heard what happened. I haven't decided how I feel about all that yet", Emma said breaking the silence.

"Just one question...are you okay?", JK couldn't help to ask.

"I'm sure I will be. I had a great time until that moment", she replied with a cheeky smile.

"Wait what?", Namjoon said as he realized something she said before.

Emma shrugged her shoulders and laughed.

"This night was crazy guys. It went from great bathroom sex to drama real quick", she said without any shame.

They all stared at her with disbelief.

"Seriously... unbelievable ", J-hope said with a surprised and somewhat impressed face.

"You are making us all blush", Jimin said and couldn't help but to laugh.

It was an eventful first night back in the city of dreams.