Far from home|KTH

Fear of the unknown

Emma sat by her desk at the office a week later. Her eyes wandered to Tae who was deep into work at the moment. Her eyes would not leave his direction but he avoided hers.

He asked for space, she had given him that. Almost a week later they had not had a conversation about them. All communication was about work.

No moments were spent alone either, it was always in the presence of others.

It was hard for him, extremely hard. He wanted nothing more than to stare at her beauty, to be the reason for her laughter, to hold her. But he stayed away, tried to build some distance between them.

Come to think of it, she didn't smile much anymore nor laugh much. She focused on work mostly but he could sense her gazing in his direction often, fighting every urge to gaze back.

His heart hurt. It ached badly for several reasons. It ached because she didn't laugh anymore, because her lightness and happiness was slowly dying. It pained him to not be able to comfort her.

It was excruciating that she wasn't his, that her chair would be empty in a week.

Emma stood up and left the room, she needed to clear her head, needed a break from the heavy atmosphere in the office.

Tae  sighed loudly and rubbed his head anxiously. Namjoon leaned back in his chair and tapped his pen on the armrest watching Tae.

"Tae...", he said carefully, gaining his attention.

He looked up at Namjoon with heavy eyes.

"Does it have to be like this?", Namjoon asked.

Tae shook his head and leaned back in his chair.

"I don't know man...I really don't know what to do. This is driving me crazy", he replied.

"You are missing out on time with her, valuable time. It's not going to become any clearer for any off you without more time together", Namjoon said.

"I know but I don't know how to approach her without seeming completely desperate. Because I am...desperate. I know she is the one I'm meant to be with. But she is not...", he said with a sad gaze.

"Trust me man...she is scared but she knows that she loves you. Go...talk to her, please. She has too much respect for your request for space so it's not going to be her who takes the first step", Namjoon said, trying to convince him. "You have nothing to lose Tae".

Tae looked at him with a concerned look on his face, his mind struggling to make a decision.

"Don't think, just go", Namjoon continued.

Finally he decided to go and look for her with a heavy heart. He wasn't sure of what to say to her.

He went to the lounge to be met by Suga's laidback frame in the couch.

"She went to the roof", he said, knowing who he was looking for.

Tae nodded and headed for the elevator. The ride to the roof seemed to take forever. He changed his mind ten times before he finally arrived.

He found her sitting on the ground, her arms embracing her knees, her head resting on her arms.

He sighed again, knowing he was the reason for her misery. He approached her with heavy long strides and sat down next to her, his legs crossed.

She looked up to find him sitting next to her, playing with his hands nervously.

His eyes finally met hers.

"I don't know what to say...", he started, trying to find answers in hers. "Don't look at me like that please...it breaks my heart ".

She looked deeply into his dark pools.

"Tae...can't you just give me some more time with you? Please Tae? We owe it to each other", she plead quietly. " I can't leave like this...".

He flashed her a sad smile.

"Emz...I would give you anything you ask for, even if it means hurting myself... that's the conclusion I've come to the past week. Anything is better than nothing of you".

She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I don't want to hurt you or make you sad", she whispered.

"We are way past that...and I hate to see you sad. I miss your laughter, your smile", he replied.

"So now what?", she asked.

"Let's pretend that we have time, let's not overthink, let's us just capture all the moments we can...let's make memories for a lifetime", he answered.

She nodded and turned to face his majestic face. Her hand reached for his chin to turn his face to hers. She stroke his cheek with the back of her hand softly.

All the emotions he had suppressed the past week rushed back to the surface and he damned himself for missing out on time with her. All the nerve endings on his skin were on high alert, his heart rushing quickly.

His lips hovered close to hers, his eyes wandering between her eyes and lips. He wanted to kiss her, needed to feel her lips on his again.

"Can I kiss you? I missed you", he whispered.

She swallowed hard and nodded.

His lips pressed on hers lightly like the touch of a feather. The warmth of them spread through hers to her core, her stomach turning.

The intense feelings he brought to life in her were addicting. She craved him.

He kissed her rougher, asking for permission to enter her mouth with his tongue. She let him conquer her, to plaid with her roughly, to convince her with his touch.

She followed his every move willingly, having missed his presence. She climbed on his lap, straddling him, pressing her body against his.

She lust for his touch, for the taste of him, for the scent of his skin. All of it felt familiar, like a necessity that she couldn't live without.

His arousal was increasing quickly, pressing against her clothed core.

She moaned softly into the kiss.

His hand grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her lips closer.

The way her hips ground on his member was mesmerizing.

"Do you want to get out of here?", he asked as he pulled away from the kiss panting.

She nodded aggressively, her eyes reflecting hunger for him.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the elevator. He wasn't sure that this was the right way to go, but if he didn't walk this path with her he would never know and all he knew was that he would have regretted it.