Far from home|KTH

Thoughts

Jin stared at the cup of coffee in front of him on his desk at work. The room had gone quiet a long time ago without him noticing. His thoughts were somewhere else.

The lights were low, his desk being the only one lit up by the lamp on his desk. He looked around him confused, his eyes catching the clock on the wall.

Damn it, he had spent way too many hours at work again.

His stomach made a loud growl, reminding him of the lack of dinner in his system. He sighed and got up from his chair, closing his laptop and placing it in his brown leather bag that went perfectly with his grey suit and brown belt and shoes.

He did what he could to keep his mind off Emma. She had been gone for almost half a year now, only a week remaining from the countdown to her return. He missed her constantly. Missed even her nagging and her anxiety. He missed to comfort her, to encourage her, to share his days with her like he had for so many years.

Did he take his encouraging too far this time though?

This question had been lingering on his mind for a long time. He gave her space to explore with the hope of her returning to him, but now he wasn't sure anymore.

Was a break in a relationship ever a good idea? Who recovers from these breaks anyway?

He knew no one.

Still he had hope, hope that it would all work out and that they would look back at this time in their life with smiles later on, knowing they did the right thing.

He was ready to move on with her to the serious things in life like marriage and children. There was no one else he wanted to do these things with. But what if she had changed her mind? Did he take too long to come to these decisions that she had wished for for the longest time.

He had no answers and he didn't want to disturb her last week away. They would have plenty of time to talk things through once she came home. Right now home was just a space where he slept, with silence.

He dragged himself through the cold and darkness of the night towards that home. Opening the door was the worst part, he was just met with darkness and silence. He lit the lights and took a quick shower before he headed towards the bed.

Another reminder of her absence. He stared at the roof for a while. This was the time he allowed his mind to run wild. He looked at his phone, but still no texts from her. Only painful silence, like he didn't exist anymore.

He followed her social media obsessively. The others too, just to get any signs of how she was doing.

He had seen him in the pictures although it wasn't with her. In her photos she looked happy. She smiled often in a way he had not seen for years. It troubled him, made his stomach turn.

How was he going to compete with all that? All he knew was what they had, and what if she didn't want it anymore?

There was not much he could do before she was home again.