fool for you || boyxboy

Chapter 29

Wednesday

09:19PM

A loud moan comes from the back of Noah's throat when he feels his body reach its peak, causing him to bury his face in Adonis' neck while digging his nails in his back. Adonis continues to thrust into Noah as he comes as well, whispering over and over again how good the younger guy feels around him. Their lips meet seconds later and they kiss until they both come down from the high of their orgasms.

Noah's eyes meet Adonis' after they pull away from their kiss, making him giggle a little.

The two of them have had sex every single day for the past three days with Adonis leaving to go do whatever afterwards. It's always him having to go meet up with one or a couple of his friends late at night. Noah never bothers to ask about it because they're not together and whatever there's going on between them is entirely casual. Though Adonis seems to have trouble understanding that, Noah thinks. The other guy showed up with another present for him earlier. It was a pair of designer shoes that reminded Adonis of him, he had said. Noah loves the shoes, he really does, but can't help but to think that this is Adonis' way of apologizing to him for the argument they had last night. It was about the use of protection between them. Condoms, to be specific.

They had run out of condoms and only realized that when they were about to take things further. Noah had forgotten to buy a new box and Adonis didn't have any on him. Adonis suggested they try without for once, claiming that it would feel even better too, but the thought of having sex without a condom despite being on birth control didn't sit right with Noah so he told Adonis no. They ended up arguing because of that. The argument left Noah feeling bad for telling Adonis no after he was reminded by the other guy of the necklace around his neck. That alone was enough for Noah to give Adonis his way.

It turns out that alcohol and guilt aren't the best things to be mixed together.

The sex wasn't what Noah was used to — Adonis wasn't as gentle as usual and he felt uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because he wasn't as into it like he usually would be. His body might have been there in the moment but his head was entirely somewhere else because he wasn't enjoying himself. He didn't come and he felt dirty once Adonis was done. It reminded him of the few times he had sex with Princeton. His ex-boyfriend couldn't care any less about his needs, as long as he got off. It always made Noah feel used and easy, just like Josiah had said before. Princeton would have sex with his body, not with him and it happened for the first time with Adonis too.

There has only been one person who hasn't made him feel used during and after sex is Josiah. But Noah is mad at him and has promised himself to stop sleeping with the older guy. Josiah has other things to spend his time on, which is his daughter.

Learning that Josiah has a child has brought up a lot of emotions that Noah has been suppressing ever since his own miscarriage. Emotions that he has been restraining himself from expressing along with feelings he hasn't allowed himself to feel. All because it wouldn't make any sense to him to feel the way he does about a pregnancy he, allegedly, never wanted to go through with. Even if he had wanted to go through with it, it was a nonviable pregnancy from the beginning. It was destined to become a failed one at some point. All he got was a literal push in the direction of it ending sooner than later.

A sense of disappointment washes over Noah as he thinks about Josiah and what happened three nights ago. Josiah and him are supposed to be able to trust and tell each other everything, that's what they do, especially with the type of friendship they have. Yet, Josiah didn't feel that way with him. Noah feels so embarrassed and disappointed with Josiah. Hurt as well, but that's too much of an understatement. His head has been hurting and he's been dealing with unexplainable heartache ever since that Sunday night. The only things that have been mending the pain are alcohol, sex and old prescription painkillers from when he hurt his ankle two years ago. But those painkillers re nothing compared to the euphoric state alcohol puts him in and how distracted sex with Adonis keeps him. The two of them can go on for hours and Noah likes that a lot.