Sorrow | Dune | Gurney Halleck

Chapter Eighteen

Word about Mildred and Gurney's engagement spread through all of Caladan quickly even before a formal announcement was made. Most of the responses were positives. They were of course some negative words, but nothing too harsh. Just concerns regarding the age difference and Gurney's ability to be both husband to the future Duchess and leader of the military. Duncan and Paul enjoyed poking fun at the new couple, but both seemed happy for them.

Her life now revolved around planning a wedding. She understood that it was an exciting thing, but she honestly didn't care are about minuet details. She really only cared about what she would be wearing that day. Still she sat with her mother in her Morning room and a plethora of servants discussing details such as which wines to serve. What colors to use. The realization hit her at one point that her mother never had a wedding to her father. She never got to do what Mildred was doing, so she tried her best to be excited for her mother.

It was still mind numbingly boring. She found herself staring out a window from her seat while her mother paraded her with questions. She wondered what Gurney was doing; more than likely with his men. She had barely been able to see him since the announcement of their engagement. Would this be what their lives became once they married? Too busy to see one another?

"Mildred?" Her mother's voice snapped her out of the trance she was in. "Are you listening?"

"What? Oh, yes. I'm listening." Mildred spoke.

"Oh really? What did I say?" Her mother asked.

Mildred sank back into her chair. "I'm sorry. I'm just...tired."

Jessica lifted an eyebrow after her daughter spoke. Tired. She was tired. She glanced around at the servants in the room and dismissed them with the wave of a hand. Mildred watched from her seat as the three women left them alone and she wondered if she was in trouble. Could she even be in trouble anymore? She was about to marry. She didn't need her parents nagging at her as if she was still a child.

"Why are you tired?" Her mother inquired once they were alone.

"Because I feel as if I'm being pulled in a thousand different directions." Mildred told her. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I just thought..." Jessica stopped herself for a moment. "I thought Gurney and you were...busy."

"Busy?" Mildred asked confused.

"Yes. You know, doing things that two people who love one another do."

Mildred felt her cheeks turn pink. "No, mother. It's nothing like that."

"Would you like to discuss that? I know I haven't exactly ever talked about sex with you before." Her mother asked.

"No, no. I'm good. I'd rather not have this conversation actually." She wanted nothing more than to change the subject.

Jessica knew the topic could be awkward especially if one was to have it with their own mother. The conversation of sexual related activities was a common subject taught to her when she was becoming a Bene Gesserit. "Mildred?"

"Yes?" Her daughter asked.

"I know I haven't exactly been the best mom and I apologize for that, but I do want you to know that I love you and I'm proud of you."

Mildred sat frozen in her seat. Her mother never admitted she was wrong, but she had actually apologized to her. Maybe she was finally seeing Mildred as more than a baby making factory. She offered her mother the smallest smile she could muster. "Thank you. Your apology...I do take it to heart."

"I know it doesn't begin to erase everything I did, or lack of," she reached across and gently squeezed Mildred's hand. "But I hope that one day we'll see each other as friends."