Sorrow | Dune | Gurney Halleck

Chapter Forty One

Mildred's jaw was set in one tense line as she escorted Gurney to her makeshift room in the cave. She had a much more suitable room in the South, but she craved a little privacy here. Especially since she was the only woman at times. She could  She practically see Gurney staring at the back of her head as she walked expertly through the cave. She felt like she was a fool for bending so easily to Paul's will, again. She wanted to punch something, but she didn't. Instead, she felt Gurney wrap his hand around her wrist, stopping her.

"Mildred." He spoke softly.

"I told you how Paul changed. That was one of the ways. The coldness, it was never there before. I might as well not be Duchess anymore. I have no power." She explained. "I've never been so weak before."

"You are not weak. You are trying to deal with your brother in a loving way. If you think, deep down, that we should trust him then we will. Your time will come." He said.

The conversation ceased. He followed her down more hallways and turns until she stopped at a large rug hanging from a few hooks. She withdrew the fabric revealing a smaller cave. It could maybe sit four or five people if she wanted. There was a table where various items laid. On the floor was a small cot with a thin blanket on it that Gurney assumed was where she slept. That was it.

"It's not exactly secure, but it works. I sleep with a knife in my hand just in case." She said as they walked inside. "No one bothers me usually."

I sleep with a knife. The words crushed him. He should have been there. He should have never left her alone. She was suppose to be safe. He swore an allegiance to her father, to her and he had failed for two years. His knees felt weak suddenly and he sank down into the sand in front of her. He reached out, wrapping his arms around her midsection and resting his head against her stomach. The movement surprised her as she threaded her fingers through the ends of his short hair.

"I'm sorry." Gurney mumbled.

Mildred knelt down in front of him, taking his worn face in her hands. Her finger grazed against the scar on his cheek as she looked into his eyes. "What for, my love?"

"Leaving you."

"You did what you thought was best, Gurney. You probably saved my life. I'm alive. You're alive. That's all that matters. Do not blame yourself." She spoke gently, like the way she used to on Caladan. "Can I ask you something?"

He nodded his head.

"Did you ever...find someone else to love?" She wouldn't be mad if he did, but she needed to know.

"No, never. I thought of you everyday Mildred. I could never love another woman. Did you?"

She shook her head. "No. I had many proposals, but like I told my mother, I had my happy ever after. I would never marry again."

Gurney lowered his face and kissed her. It was hungry as if he been starved for the two years they had been apart. His hands reached up behind her, feeling for the hemline of the stillsuit so he could remove it from her body. It was harder to remove than the dress he had been used to taking off. He could feel her bones more and a sinking feeling hit him. She had barely been surviving.

He ran his hands along her spine, down her arms that felt stronger than before. Along her breasts, her side. He had dreamt of holding her again. "You're real."

"I'm real." She assured him as she began to take his own stillsuit off. More scars adorned his body. A few fresh bruises adorned his skin. She didn't care. She would love him no matter what he looked like.

He laid her down against her makeshift bed and his body hovered over hers. His hand drug down her stomach, along her inner thigh and between her legs where he gently rubbed her with his thumb. Her body was aching for him. Every little touch only added to that yearning. She had tried over the years to replicate his touch, but was never successful.