Every New Beginning... (Chris Evans AU)

.84.

Chris POV

It's been exactly one week since my normal existence ended.

I take the same walk through the stark white hospital halls as I did that day. This time though my heart beats a bit differently. The ache it held now replaced with hope. Today is surgery day.

I conceded the opportunity of being the donor, letting Laura be take the lead. I had still wanted to be the one to help her, but after receiving a call from my Captain, and another long discussion with my mother and Pops, I knew I had to let my original idea go. I did however insist on continuing my absence in order to help Opal heal.

Helping Opal heal. That is if this works. My original fears have slowly been replaced with fears of how things will be when she wakes up. If she wakes up.

The doctors continue to give us hope, reminding us that her body is doing exactly what it should be. Well, with the exception of her kidneys. Rather the one kidney she has left. They'd hope to only have to open her up one time, take out the left kidney that was completely demolished via the accident and replace the diseased one all at the same time. Unfortunately, on the same day we were told who the viable donors were she had to be rushed into emergency surgery.

We were told all went well and that as long as she didn't spike a fever or show any sign of infection they'd schedule the actual donor surgery for two days later.

I'd just left Laura's hospital room where she'd been getting prepped. Spencer, Lily and Rae were all there with her to keep her company while Jameson and Anthony had gone to pick up her mother from the airport.

I truly hope that my decision to let Laura take the lead in the surgery won't come back to bite myself or Opal. She seemed genuine in our conversation and even afterwards Lily pulled me off to the side to let me know the very direct conversation she'd had with her while I had gone out with Pops. I trust Lily's judgement more than my own at this point in time.

Turning the corner into Opal's room I see Pops sitting in the recliner, flipping through the handful of channels on the small corner television. "Hey old man," I say with a genuine smile.

"You're getting too comfortable with me, Officer," he answers with a chuckle.

I lean down to give him a quick hug before I take my spot once again on Opal's left. "Hi gorgeous," I whisper against her ear. Wishing she'd return the words with her bright smile, or see her skin covered in goosebumps from the warmth of my breath against her skin. Instead I'm met with nothing more than the continuous beeping of machines.

"The nurse came in about five minutes ago. Said they'll come get her in about fifteen minutes."

I nod my head, staying quiet as I reach for her hand. I'd had to remove her paper ring before the emergency surgery, actually yelling at them to wait for just a moment while I slid it off, knowing that they'd probably just take it and toss it in a garbage can along the way.

Pops grunts as he gets up from the recliner. "I'm gonna go grab some coffee, give you two some time. I'll see you in the waiting room." He gives Opal a kiss on her forehead. "I love you so much, Ope girl." Another kiss and he heads out the door.

I release a heavy sigh. Thankful for this moment in time and yet terrified at what is to come. I lean up just slightly to caress her cheek, noticing how well her skin is healing from the road rash. Lily insisted we have a plastic surgeon come in to look it over more closely. With his affirmation we know there will be scarring, but with some type of certain creams they would diminish in time.

Truthfully I don't care that her face is scarred, she's still the same woman I fell in love with at first sass.

But when all of this is said and done if she told me she'd be more comfortable in her own skin if she had surgery, then I'd be supportive.

However, she will know that I find her even more beautiful since the accident. This accident is now a part of her, and the fight that she's put forth, only makes me love her more.

Outside of the machines and the television playing, we sit in silence. I hold her hand between both of my own. I close my eyes and rest my forehead against our clasped hands, whispering prayers. Knowing that bartering doesn't work with God still doesn't keep me from trying to come up with deals amidst my prayers.

I'm pulled from my prayers by a song I hear over the television. Knowing that I believe everything happens for a reason I can't help but listen intently, recognizing the song.

"Stay," Opal requests. "Just until I fall back asleep."

I pull a chair up against her bed after I've tucked her in. Giving in to her plea. In reality, if she hadn't asked I would've just sat outside the door until I knew she was sleeping calmly again.

I lean over, running my hand along her hair, soothingly. She closes her eyes at my touch, finding comfort in the warmth of my hand, or maybe just my closeness. I give her a soft kiss on top of her head which brings a small smile across her lips. "It's alright, sweetheart. Sleep. I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere."

I continue this action until I notice her breathing even out. I lean back in the chair, but continue to study her. The last couple of days have made me realize just how much this woman has a hold on me. I didn't think twice about jumping in my car to make the trip, knowing I needed to see with my own eyes, touch her with my hands, to know that she really was alright. And now this. This admission, explaining why she struggles to let people in. Why she refuses to allow herself to be loved or shown affection.

I believe that our subconscious can still hear and feel things, be receptive of things, while we sleep. Because of this, and understanding the importance of Opal in my life, I want to pour words over her. Refill her brain with words of love, words that show she's important to this world, important to me.

I lean up, resting my forearms on my knees. I begin to sing softly to her, unwilling to wake her.

There goes my heart beating
'Cause you are the reason
I'm losing my sleep
Please come back now
And there goes my mind racing
And you are the reason
That I'm still breathing
I'm hopeless now
I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, 'cause I need you to see
That you are the reason
There goes my hands shaking
And you are the reason
My heart keeps bleeding
I need you now
And if I could turn back the clock
I'd make sure the light defeated the dark
I'd spend every hour, of every day
Keeping you safe
And I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, 'cause I need you to see
That you are the reason

  Hoping that the words seep into her mind, giving her peace and rest, I lean back in my seat once more, placing my feet on the edge of the bed and close my eyes.

  

  As the memory comes back to me I lift my head off of our hands. I lean up, placing my lips next to her ear once more, singing the same words from that night, softly.

  "I need you, Opal. Come back to me, baby."

  There's a soft knock at the door just before it opens. "Mr. Evans?" I stand up, straightening myself at the interruption. "We're ready to take Miss Lucas to surgery." I nod in agreeance, taking a deep breath. 

  Leaning over Opal once more, I place a gentle kiss on her lips, praying that the next time I do it she'll be returning it with her own. "I love you, Opal Lillian Lucas." 

I kiss her forehead before getting close to her ear again.

 "Come back soon so we can change that name of yours."