Every New Beginning... (Chris Evans AU)

.19.

Chris POV

   I move back, out of Opal's way so she can move ahead of me, towards the garden.  My head is pointed toward the ground, only lifting as I turn in the direction Opal has walked off to, bringing a hand down over my face, attempting to wipe away the desire that is still unfulfilled.

  I find Jameson and the minister, joining them.

  "Where were you man?" Jameson asks.

   "Just uh, taking a moment, is all," I assure him. "You ready?" I pat him on the back in what I feel like is a best man ritual.

   "Definitely," he responds, clapping his hands together.

   The music starts as the minister walks out. Just a couple moments later Jo instructs us to join him. I walk just behind Jameson, one hand in my pocket while the other rests beside me.

   Once we reach the front, I look out into the crowd. I notice a couple more guys we went through the academy with, making a mental note to be sure I speak to them and see how life has been treating them.

  I also notice a couple of women. Well, I should say that I notice a couple of women that are taking note of me. They're attractive, and by the way they're eyeing me I'd hope they're single, or their boyfriends or husbands may want my head on a platter. I try not to give them any indication that I noticed their gaze and return my focus back to the aisle.

Seeing Laura reminds me that I need to snap a photo and send it to Spencer, with another apology that he's missing his opportunity to see her again because of me.

  I think back to the night at the bar, when Opal told me she's always someone's second choice, especially when it comes to her friends. And I'm reminded of Cooper telling me she's not worth it. If she wasn't my first choice, and if these random encounters don't mean anything, then why do they keep happening?  And how do I get her to see it more than just coincidence.

   I'm pulled out of my thoughts by an elbow being nudged into my side from Jameson. I look back towards the aisle and watch as Opal begins her walk down.  She has such a grace about her. I can tell there's a vast lack of confidence as she continues to look down for most of the long walk to the altar.

   But for a brief moment, she lifts her head, meets my gaze and smiles the most dazzling smile, just for me. I mirror her action and suddenly it feels like this is the future and she's walking down the aisle to meet me. As if Jameson and I have switched spots and Opal is in a sparkling white gown, floating down the aisle, on her way to become mine forever.

   The music changes and I'm reminded that's not the case. In fact, I don't even have a number to get a hold of this woman when I go back to Atlanta. And yet here I am thinking I have an everlasting future with her. How far am I prepared to let my heart go? At what point do I demand my heart fall in line with my brain? I'm starting to get the feeling it needs to be soon.

   Once Lily reaches the front we all turn our backs to the crowd and face the minister. He begins the ceremony, while my mind continues to wander.  Part of me wants to tell Opal to just forget everything I've said, done or attempted to do this weekend. But that's not who I am. I'd never want to forget the touches we've shared, the small innocent flirtations, her falling asleep on my shoulder after letting me hold her while she cried. I never want to forget her laugh, or what she looked like with mud covering her face from my hand when she couldn't hold in her laughter. I'd never ask her to forget all of the close calls we've had, when our desire for each other was so evident to each of us. No. I can't do that. I won't do that. But where does that leave me?

   I pass Lily's wedding ring over to Jameson as Opal does the same to Lily.

   Do I go home with nothing more than memories of the perfect woman? Go back to Atlanta and compare every woman I come across to Opal? That's not fair to anyone. No. Opal needs to know she's my first choice, period. She doesn't need to be anyone else's second choice when I want her as my first.