The Shadow Of The Sun

Chapter 57

YOONGI'S POV

I made him sit on my lap and I guess, it wasn't a very good move. My heart was beating roughly against my chest but he made me angry, leaving the discussion in between forcing me to do so.

"Erh... Okay, if you like leave me, I'll give you something-"

"Oh really babyboy?" I smirked. Oh god he is so naïve or maybe I am a bit too kinky but I absolutely love his reactions. The way the pink travels from his cheeks to his ears and his failed attempt to suppress his smile. God, he is so cute.

I tightened my grip around him and side hugged him. I could hear his heartbeat, making me feel an odd pride that I was the reason of his state.

"Ok Sorry baba, leave me now," he insisted. Baba? Cute. I chortled at the nickname he gave me. His voice was like a cheesecake. Very soft at the fuition and ends with a coarse manly sound. That makes it cute and sexy at the same time.

I released my grip and he quickly sprang up, pointing a finger at me such that it's tip almost touched my nose, "You!"

"What?"

"You do it again and you're dead meat-"

His voice halted as I too stood up and stood close to him. "Hah? That's all it takes to shut you up? Close quarters?"

He took alternate step backward and I only took another towards him. That's what it gonna be, no matter what, I'll be always moving towards him. Even if he pushes me away, I'll grab him and hold him forever. I'm not the type who can let go easily once I am connected and with him, I'll never.

"Yoongi... Stop. Please. We are not doing anything funny," he said and somehow I controlled my laughter. Funny? Obviously I was not having sex till he is comfortable, even when I am honestly in love with him.

"Okay if you admit that I am a top," I countered.

His stance changed all of a sudden, his backward steps stopped and his nervous smile broke into a devilish grin. He took an outrageous step towards me and I was... intimidated?

"God Yoongs, that's all it takes to shut you up? Close quarters?" He quoted me in a husky low tone. I could feel heat coursing all over my body but I cannot lose, so, I smirked too.

We were in this little duel till his phone rang and what a pride moment again, his ringtone - Daechwita.

He picked up in haste to stop the ringtone but I was already feeling proud and amused.

"Hello? Yes mom!" He said.

"Do you mind calling back later, I was a bit taken-"

He stopped abruptly when I gestured him to continue as I saw the way his face lit up when he addressed his mother. As he continued conversing with his mom, I walked around till my gaze fixed at the tickets on the table.

They were dated for today and the time was already passed. I bit my lower lip in the epiphany and closed my eyes contemplating on myself as my back was facing him.

Suddenly, he snatched the tickets from my hand, "Mom, I'll call you back later. Bye. I love you," he spoke in a haste and ended the call.

"Oh YN, forgot these here? How ignorant of her," he lied right in front of my eyes.

"YN was at her house, how did these came here?" I questioned instead, witnessing his nervous smile. Why was he nervous? It was surely my mistake being inconsiderate to what he wanted.

"Maybe it came-"

"Stop lying Tae!" I yelled, that came out wrong. I was frustrated at myself and not him but still it came out as a yell at him and watching him flinch broke my heart. I almost panicked. "I'm sorry Tae. I was just frustrated at myself, I wasn't yelling at you," I clarified.

He nodded simply, his teeth sinking in his lower lip. Again he tried to walk past me, without explaining. I got him by his shoulders and pushed him against the wall. I glanced in his eyes, confusion and anger. Almost instantly I moved back, giving him space.

"What do you want? You deliberately yelled at me! You! Someone for whom I raised voice against my father," he said, not loudly, nor angrily. Just hurt.

"I am sorry Tae. I am really sorry. You just went ahead without saying anything and-"

"-that pissed you off?" He completed my sentence, "Exactly what do you want, huh? You don't wanna understand my point of view. If you are here to be all dominating and shit, then please leave. I am already quite broken for that. Just find a boy you wanna have sex with-"

This was it, I pushed him again pinning him against the wall. My breathing was heavy, I felt emotions I never felt before. What can we name it- angry-that-your-love-interpreted-you-so-wrong?

I lowered myself to his ear breathing into it and I could feel his body shiver under my presence. "You are the only boy I'll fuck. You get that?" I whispered. He pushed me and I wasn't anticipating that.

His eyes turned sharp. Gosh those eyes, it can be all loving and then all daunting. His duality is killing me.

"That doesn't change the fact that you just pushed me against a wall because you were pissed off," he said in a breathy voice.

"Because you leave me just like that. You say I am not understanding your point of view then make me understand it. It's my job to understand you Tae, I'll be there for you. It's not about that, it's that I want to be there for you and back you up. But for that I need to know and get it clear in my head too. I cannot just come and say I understand you when I don't know shit!"

As much as I love his eyes, I hate them. He literally snapped from intimidating to bubbly in a second, chiming, "God, my man is such a great rapper. Daebak!"

"I am serious."

"Me Too~" he sang, his hand landing on my shoulder making me move with him.

What's wrong with him?

"Can we clear this out before making it a rot in our relationship?"

"I'll just forget it, don't you worry, it's okay," he foolishly said. How can I not be angry? He is just so gullible. How is he a lawyer?

"Tae-"

"Shh," he interrupted me, now standing in front of me and taking my hands into his, "I know you're sorry. I know you're pissed off at maybe I am so dumb. But I don't need to hear you, I know it. Believe me, I am not dumb. If I were I would have not accepted your proposal. Once you are attatched to me, you can do anything to me. I am trusting you with my weakness here Yoongi. I am someone who craves so much love. Maybe I'll be asking for random hugs or kisses, it's because I want to know what it's like to feel loved.

You say my father did all this to give me a bright future," he gulped.

"Maybe he did. I respect him for that. I never asked for something unreasonable you know. I never asked him to be there on my athletic meets where I really wanted him but I didn't. I just asked for a call on my birthday, I just asked wanted to be scolded when I did someth- thing wrong," his voice cracked and his eyes glistened.

"I just wanted my dad to reach me how to shave or how to drive. Or at least talk to me in a month or two. No. He didn't talk to me in years, at most it was a 'take care' or 'do you need any money'. Before I could ask, 'I want you dad', the phone was already passed to my mother who used to say appa is busy." A trickled down his cheeks. It hurted me seeing him like this. I hate to cry but my eyes were already drowning in tears.

I went ahead and embraced him and he hugged me back. I felt his tears soaking through my shirt right at my chest as if moistening my heart with emotions.

"I just wanted a dad Yoongi. I just wanted him," he cried. I inhaled deeply looking at the ceiling in attempt to cut out my tears from falling.

Gosh, I love you so much boy. Stop hurting. You're hurting me.