The New Girl... |Editing|

Good Memories: Joonie

Namjoon was just randomly scrolling through YouTube when he came across an Army-edit video of Grace's. It was her iconic lines. He clicked on it and all her iconic lines started playing. The first was from her and Jin's baking live.

It was the moment where she gestured him with eyes and while nodding and shrugging he tastes the cake and gives a thumbs up.

Then another one came up. It was just her shouting "Yaah - Namjoon-aahh!" and looking at him damn annoyed and in kinda disgust.

It had happened when during in the soop, when he came from behind her and put wet hands on her cheeks to annoy her. He knew she hated it. He of course still did it.

Namjoon smiled lightly.

After the video ended after a few more lines of hers, he went to the end of the room and picked up the books she had gifted him. They weren't the self-help books he usually read but fictional and fantasy ones.

He then casually and absent-mindedly tried to open a drawer but it didn't open. He realised it was locked.

He opened another drawer and fished out a key.

He unlocked the earlier drawer and saw a bunch of spiral binded books with plastic soft covers. He dragged his chair near the drawer and sat with the first book in his hands.

He flipped the first page and read the title,

"The 7 of Them..."

His eyes moved to the lower part of the page and read,

"By - Saakshi Sheikh-Roy."

It was a book written by Saakshi about the boys. She hadn't published it as she'd written it only for herself.

She had given him this final draft of the book as thing to kept safely, a few days before she was taken away.

He read the same things about her joining the group and her journey with the band all over again. He felt very overwhelmed.
He quickly closed the book and put it back where it was. 

He grabbed his bike lock keys and left the studio to go on a bike ride.
He remembered going on rides with Saakshi.
He smiled to himself and felt the cool wind on his face as he walked out. It calmed him.

He took his bike and was unlocking the the lock but he broke it instead. He remembered how Saakshi and Yoongi together fixed everything thing he broke, and hardly ever said anything to him.

Now it'd be only Yoongi. He wasn't sure if Yoongi would still do it though. Fixing stuff was their thing and what if he didn't wanna do it as it reminded him of her?

He sighed deeply. He started thinking about how they were gonna tell ARMY. They were gonna be heart broken. Questions about disbandment would rise.

Right now he just wanted to get rid of such thoughts so he kept his bike back in it's place and went back to his room to take a warm shower. It always helped.

The problem was that he had thought he had accepted the fact that she was no more, when he actually hadn't.

He thought feeling sad and frustrated was okay but he was doing it too much. He hadn't actually let himself cry because he thought he was the one who needed to stay strong for his members.

As hot water hit him, warm, silent tears rolled down his cheek. He finally cried.

He hated not having her here. He hated his friend, a close one, not being here.