Every New Beginning... (Chris Evans AU)

.48.

Gingerly, I remove myself from Chris' lap, causing him to stir awake. "Sorry," I whisper as I watch him open his eyes. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Kind of hard not to wake up when a piece of you leaves," he says, catching me by surprise.

"What?"

Chris stands up, cautiously holding onto his arm that I'm sure hurts considering he's about five hours past the time of his pain meds. "You heard me, Opal."

"I heard you, I'm just not sure what you meant by that," I respond honestly.

"I mean," he starts but stops himself, pain written all over his face. He let's out a groan before trying to speak again, dropping back to sitting on the couch.

"Let me get you your meds and something to eat. I'm so sorry I fell asleep and didn't cook." I continue to chastise myself as I move around the kitchen grabbing his pain meds from the counter, a banana and a Gatorade. "Why don't you go to the bedroom and I'll get this stuff together and then get the bed ready for you."

I turn around ready to follow him into the bedroom only to find him standing in the door way of the kitchen, blocking me. "Opal, stop."

"Chris, you need to get back to bed and take these meds." I push the banana at him, along with the Gatorade hoping he'll take them so I can get his pills out of the bottle.

He takes the items from my hands and places all of them on the counter. "Baby, stop, please."

 I cross my arms in front of my chest, getting agitated. "What is it?" I snap at him. I don't mean to speak to him that way, but I just want to take care of him and right now he's standing in the way of it.

Chris puts his hands on my arms, gliding them gently up and down before moving to hold my face in the palms of his hands. "I need to say this now, while there are no meds in me, and I have at least a little of your attention." My head cocks to the side, confused at where he's going with this statement.

"I love you, Opal."

I've essentially stopped breathing at this point, completely in shock. I feel my eyes go wide and my heart start to race. "What?"

"You heard me, Opal. I love you."

His blue eyes bore into my own, showing his sincerity and yet I choose to not believe him. "No, you don't Chris."

His expression changes, surprised by my statement I assume. I decide to continue before he can say anything else I know he'll regret later. "You had a near death experience, and I'm the last person you saw before it all went down. You only think you love me. You really don't. It's too soon. You were just traumatized. And then, here I am a complete damsel in distress for you to comfort. You only think you love me, but you don't."

Chris' surprised expression changes to complete agitation. "Damn it, Opal. Can't you ever just let something happen naturally with us?" he practically yells, completely frustrated with me. "I love you! This isn't the first time I've told you that, but it's the first time you've knowingly heard it."

 I stand there in shock. Seeing once again this man's persistence. I know he's right, at least in the fact that I do tend to put a stop to things with us, trying to argue away the actuality that I've been falling for him a little more each time he pursues me. 

 Am I afraid that if I give in completely he'll stop pursuing me? It's obvious that I have deep rooted issues in being wanted. Sadly, I guess I need constant reminders that he truly does want me. That he needs me.

 "You've said it before?" I ask cautiously.

   Chris slowly nods his head, affirming my question. "The first time I woke up in the hospital. You were asleep, your head resting by my hand."

  "That day is a blur. I've tried to push it out of my mind."

  "Not me," he starts again. I lean with my back against the counter. He takes a step towards me. "I never want to forget the moment I told you that I love you for the first time."

 I watch him pick my phone up off of the counter. He unlocks it, having known my code and begins thumbing through something. A quiet melody starts playing through the speaker. "This was the song playing when I woke up and saw you by my side." He takes another step towards me. 

  My eyes instinctively close as he brings his right hand up to the juncture of my jaw and neck just before resting his forehead on mine. My hands move on their own, resting themselves on his hips. We begin to sway, just this way, being mindful of his left arm. 

  "You don't have to say it, especially if you don't feel it. But, I do, in fact, love you, Opal Lillian Lucas. And after what went down in that warehouse, I knew I had to let you know," he says softly. I notice his eyes are closed and his jaw tight, afraid of my next reaction. 

  I don't speak. I can't. In this moment I don't have any words. I know that it may hurt him, but I can't. Not yet.

  We continue our very slow, tentative dance in the middle of his kitchen. Our own silence feels deafening compared to the lyrics of the song. 

  The song ends and Chris removes himself, stepping back away from me  now. I notice him give a small sniffle before he turns and grabs the banana he left on the counter.

  "Chris..." 

  He turns his head slightly, giving me a small, soft smile. "It's okay, Opal. Really." I watch him move back towards me, the soft smile changing to his signature smirk. "But, if you think I'm going to stop telling you," he shakes his head back and forth. "Just know, I'm not going to ignore my feelings for you. I won't."

  I move to give him a small peck on the lips. "Please don't," I tell him. "I just-"

"No," he interrupts me. "You don't need to give me any explanation. I just wanted you to know how I feel about you." He gives me another kiss to my forehead. "Now. About those pain pills."

  I chuckle quietly reaching behind him to grab the items he had placed there earlier. "Eat something first." I push the banana back towards him. "I can deal with blood and changing your bandages. But vomiting from pain meds on an empty stomach is where I draw the line. I don't handle vomit well."

  "Guess it's a good thing vomit doesn't bother me."

  I open the bottle of Gatorade for him. "Why do you say that?"

  "I'll be able to take care of our kids when they have a stomach bug," he answers, taking the bottle from my  hand and tossing me a wink as I roll my eyes. 

  "Kids huh?" I say deciding to play along a little with him. 

  He swallows half the bottle before answering. "Yep."

  "How many kids do you want?"

  "Didn't you hear the song? Four kids and no sleep, we'll have one on each knee, you and me," he teases in a sing song voice.