"𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙚𝙩, 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧."
In spite of how painful their backgrounds are, these kids are bound to set the world on fire.
- - -
We never asked...
"Saving the people you love isn't stupid, it isn't even a choice."
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I am stupid. So so very stupid. How could I fall in love? Why am I in love with someone I promised myself I wouldn't be? Why am I even worrying about this when we still haven't gotten Ares back?
We got into bed after our shower and Aki immediately fell asleep. I've been in bed, laying on his chest just thinking for the past two hours. I'm tired, my body's tired, but I just can't shut my mind off.
I always thought that Phoenix was the one. Since we met, it was always him. Even what happened last week in the hospital made my heart go crazy. He made me crazy and made my heart flutter whenever he was around. I started feeling those same things when I came back, and he was the same charmer he was before. But eventually I didn't anymore. I don't know when, but in this past week, I realized I haven't been getting those fluttery feelings at the mention of his name.
It's not that I don't love him. I do, I know I do. It's impossible to stop caring for someone that fast, especially the enigma that is Phoenix Laurent, but there's a difference in loving someone, and being in love with someone. And I think I just realized that.
Thinking back to the moments right before Phoenix and I had sex in the hospital, I described to him what I knew he wanted, or wants I guess.
He wants to hold me at night, huge me, kiss me, be in a relationship and I'll admit during me teasing him, I was thinking about how wanted those things too, but I wasn't imagining Phoenix in my head. I overlooked the imagery in my head, desperate to get a release and take my mind off of everything that I didn't realize it was someone else I was imagining.
I used him.
"What are you thinking about?" Aki's raspy voice makes me smile to myself and he kisses my forehead.
"Ares," I answer half truthfully. "... and you." I whisper out. I wasn't sure if he heard me. I'm not sure I wanted him to hear me.
"What about me?" He turns on his side to face me and I do the same.
"Truth?"
"Always." He whispers.
"I think I like you." I admit, attempting to keep my cool on the outside while my heart was rapidly pounding inside my chest.
"I like you too." I can see the small smile he gives me through the minimal light of my room. The look of the setting sun across his face made the moment more beautiful, but I couldn't believe his words.
"You're only saying that because I said it to you. You could never do this to Phoenix and you continuously told me for months that you were in love with Azra."
He would tell me how much she meant to him and how mushy it made him feel on the inside. And now that I think about it, it's making me jealous of her, even though I know she doesn't feel the same and is in the hospital with a bullet in her chest.
