Resilience

000

Lydia

16 years ago...

"You're doing good, this is the last one. Give me one more big push." The doctors says to me, but I can barely hear her. The first four were a hassle to get out and I was so tired, but I pushed as hard as I could until I felt relief and heard my baby crying.

In people's eyes, a mother is supposed to love their kids, cherish them, do anything for them, but that is not me. I never wanted kids, hell I never wanted to get married, but here we are, in a hospital giving birth to my ninth child.

Sitting in this hospital has given me nothing but time to think about how fucked up my life is.

I was forced into a marriage that I didn't want, all because I was the the first born and a girl. My father thought alliances were more important than my happiness.

I was never in love with Francisco. I barely knew him before we got married and had our first kid together. I didn't mean to get pregnant, but he wanted a big family and my father wanted me to have children so it would secure the alliance between the British and Brazilian Mafias.

Why did I ever listen to them?

I was madly in love with a beautiful woman. Her name was Yelena. She was the absolute love of my life. When my father found out I was seeing her throughout my marriage, he had her killed. All because of Francisco.

He treated Francisco like his own kid more then me. I found out they made up this elaborate scheme for the marriage, the kids, the bridal shower, even our fucking death beds and where we would be buried.

I never wanted this life. I didn't want any kids or to be married. It's not that kids weren't adorable, I just didn't want any of my own. I didn't want to be tied down. I wanted to be free and live my own life away from this dumb mafia shit, but the universe has a funny way of screwing you.

Tonight I've decided to run. I can't stay here and let them control my life anymore, and I can't let my children have the same fate, especially not my daughter, who I've decided to name Aphrodite. Some might think it's weird for my daughter to be named after the goddess of love, beauty, and sex, but I don't. To me, her name is hope for her to find the purest of love and for her to be beautiful, inside and out. As for the other part... that'll come with time, hopefully not until she's ready and with someone she trusts.

Right now, Francisco is on a trip to America to meet with the leader of the American mafia. My eldest sons are home with a very trusted babysitter so this is my only window of time.

I've decided to go to Russia. That was where Yelena was from. Her brother Alexei is the Don of the Russian Mafia. While our relationship was a secret, her brother knew all about it, he is the most trustworthy person I know right now. The only person who hasn't ever lied to me.

I want out. He gave me his word that as a last tribute to his sister Yelena, he would help me, give me enough money to build a new life for myself and my children. I won't let them become everything I've spent my life running away from.

Alexei is kind and when I told him if this plan he supported me. When I started to second guess myself, he reassured me that what I am doing is the right thing. I trust him.

She shouldn't have.

Lydia had no idea that she was headed towards a fate worse than death.