Loyal • Muse | NamMin || BOOK 2#

XLV. Holding the loyal muse

Jimin has been thinking a lot about what Namjoon asked. He supposes it's normal for a man like him to want to make a family. Considering his peculiar way of being, it's something he'll clearly be good at.

Jimin brought him deer, let kids from the kisaengs' house pass, had the patience to teach him in everything he needed. Namjoon would be a good dad, Jimin takes that for granted without thinking about it. What worries him is what if he loses it, what if he doesn't know how to take care of him or her and does something bad to him or her? He doesn't consider himself capable of taking care of a child. Short, sporadic things are different from the sixteen seventeen years he has to stay with that child.

Jimin is afraid of not being what that new creature deserves. He rubs his face with both hands. Namjoon is an expert at leaving him thinking too much. He said he would be back soon. It's day off because Agust will just hang out with Hoseok and sent any obligations to hell. Namjoon loves it, Ji not so much.

Jimin wishes knew what to do. Wish there was a guide explaining how to do this after all it's very complicated to accept such an offer. Jimin would like any difficulties or strange thoughts to go away. To live without any kind of worry just him and Namjoon. Something that is clearly not possible, after all he already accepted to be the emperor's snake and that has no way to be annulled, so it only remains to continue with it. Jimin sighs heavily and looks outside.

It catches his attention that the deer are running to a specific side of the garden. The brown animals seem to be running away from something, Jimin decide to go and see what is going on and in the process he only feel a small bump on my head, not too hard and not too soft. Just and akin to a touch that feels all too familiar. He stands still in place with the feeling of something surrounding him.

Jimin hears a slight hissing sound directly in his ear and something climbs all over his body. He takes a deep breath and even when he should hear it there is nothing. He inhales and exhales even harder with the desire to provoke noise, however, it never sounds, there is nothing. Jimin begins to hyperventilate and break out in a cold sweat, he wonders incessantly why I can't hear my breathing, why I can't hear the deer running, why I am not even able to hear my heartbeat, why I am not even able to hear my heartbeat.

He gives an anguish-filled groan before slowly falling to the ground with a dragon completely surrounding him. The creature in question has black scales, long flowing fur due to the wind and a gaze fixed on the kisaeng. Jimin is unable to hear that someone is walking closer.

Jimin doesn't even realize that there is a man standing right in front of him. The only way he realizes it is when he stretches out his hand in front of his eyes and by inertia he takes it. A terrible impulse, a memory he cannot repress; a behavior impossible for him to avoid. Jimin feels small, usually small and it is unpleasant; he wants to change it but has no way to do so. He feels like a child again and just manages to cry: because it is going back to the past that has not been buried.

The silent crying calms his breathing and he just walks holding hands with that person. It is impossible to realize who it is, he is not even able to do it, Jimin thinks he is in the Imperial Palace being taken to the room. Like every day of his childhood. He lets himself be embraced tenderly without asking or saying anything.

Living the same as he has always lived in silence.

~ * * * ~

"Huh? Do you need anything? Agust told me you weren't coming today." Hoseok looks confused to see Namjoon at the Palace.

"I just came to pick up a couple of things I left last time. You know Jimin and I are kind of messy." Hoseok squints his eyes. It's a bit of a suspicious thing.