Loyal • Muse | NamMin || BOOK 2#

XLII. Reminiscences of the past that will not go away

Namjoon knows perfectly well that asking for a son is very, very dangerous and it is possible that Jimin will stop trusting him as he does. There was already someone who asked him -ordered rather-, something similar and he not only abhorred that person, he also had an ending that can be called tragic. Having had an abortion is something that affected him even if he is not able to understand it himself. Jimin was still very young when it happened and not talking about it makes the feeling just stagnate.

If Jimin didn't want to even if it had nothing to do with his past experiences or anything else, it wouldn't bother Namjoon either. With the number of abandoned children everywhere, it is enough to make a little effort to look for a family that can no longer afford it and ask for -or buy- the baby. For everything there are solutions and in all of them there are those who are happy. Namjoon want to stay optimistic and think that everything is going to be fine. That everything will work out, they will have a family together and finally Jimin will stop calling him "my lord" to say "Namjoon" or simply "Joon".

~ * * * ~

"What's between you and lord Namjoon is it a couple relationship?"

"I don't know."

Yoongi sleeps lying on the floor. It's an hour-long break from the almost inhuman amount of information Jimin had been giving them. The kisaeng lets out a thick cloud of white smoke and balances the pipe between his little fingers. Hoseok wonders how complicated it is to understand anything in this place. First it seems that Jimin and Namjoon have a special bond, Jimin climbs up and hugs the wisdom dragon as if it were his own; then that he has it with Emperor Agust, as he is the only one allowed to enter his room, help him dress, comb his hair and entertain him with his dancing; suddenly another script twist with Jimin kissing and practically knocking down the counselor to proceed to other activities. Hoseok's doubts have logic and he is not going to let anyone deny it to him.

Since Yoongi has stopped being so curt and rude to everyone, it is possible to talk to him. As well as being somewhat more approachable. It gets to the point where Jimin feels that Yoongi needs more support, a genuine one that makes him feel included here.

"I've known him since we were kids" Jimin taps the pipe, thus wiping away the useless ash. "We were acting like fools in love without realizing it. At least me. I thought he was just a good friend who I was fond of... Someone who wasn't going to hurt me" Hoseok realizes that Jimin is a minor. By the way he acts he is forgotten even though his appearance is that of someone very young. "He changed, I snapped; I understood that men are unreliable and no matter how much you love them or how much you trust them, at the least thought moment they could stab you without hesitation."

"Why?

"Because you're beautiful" Jimin smiles in a way that makes Hoseok shiver. "Because they don't know how to deal with the beauty that comes their way. They freak out and destroy you."

"Oh."

"Maybe it's your destiny. Maybe it isn't. Either way, I wouldn't know how to recommend trusting you."

"But" Hoseok gulps for air. There's a gap here. "You trust Lord Namjoon. I mean, everything you do, how you talk to him. It's obvious that-"

Jimin laughs and continues to smoke. Hoseok doesn't get it now and who knows if he will. Jimin hopes he won't have to teach him someday the rule that applies almost without fail to all kisaeng. Whatever their rank, their age, their background. All that is annulled by this guideline: the kisaeng who allows herself to fall in love by the tender treatment of the lord. It usually happens that there are two ways. The lord in love in constant courtship to the kisaeng who allows herself to fall in love in spite of the fact that it is impossible.