Loyal • Muse | NamMin || BOOK 2#

XXXIII. The potential for much more

"There was never such a person here."

Namjoon clicks his tongue. Okay, at least that means that there really hasn't been such a person here for a long time. However, was he even known about it? It's so well guarded that it seems almost impossible for anyone to know about it. Had I not gone through those mountains of old papers to find out what to throw away, I wouldn't have discovered it. Unless it's something that is founded in every reign. That's the only theory he has at the moment. By accident he sees Jimin circulating down a hallway.

"You're been calling him quite often, your majesty," Namjoon comments curiously. Agust doesn't say anything, "but I can't help but mention that you don't look too happy about it. At least not entirely."

"It's off."

Namjoon opens and closes his mouth. Such a simple sentence that hits him in the face with a thousand other things. Ones he hasn't been able to pay attention to for training Jimin in everything he needs to know to continue to exploit his potential: he's shut down. Decayed, faded, sad.

The best word to say it, is that he is still very depressed.

As Jimin told Namjoon at the time, he's a very good actor. Disguising and swallowing his sadness is unavoidable. It is also very typical of kisaengs. They cannot expose their emotions, their needs and must smile gently to whoever is their master. Jimin is very hermetic. He rarely explodes and in all has claimed him for not being the same when it can be said that he is equal to the inverse.

~ * * * ~

"I've seen him stressed these days, so I asked to arrange this for him to relax a bit, my lord."

Jimin is unaware that Namjoon sees him very often when he has his free time and dances in the company of the household servants; the occasional child from the kisaengs' house who sneaks in to watch him dance. It is quite usual. After all, his change of status makes it obvious that he must give shows and it is so rare to see him in the kisaengs' house that it generates curiosity, then charm with what Jimin does lately craves to see him again.

Namjoon indulges in this for not despising the gesture and at the same time why not? With the latest revelations he's had he frankly needs some distraction. Jimin wears a white and light blue hanbok. Both somewhat opaque colors that gives a very calm vibe next to her blue hair adorned with pearl hairpins and jade accents.

Some kisaengs play instruments in the company of house servants. Jimin holds a fan decorated with light blue flowers. They do not exist, Namjoon had it made for him. The tune is very quiet.

Secretly laughing, secretly crying
While hiding my state [of mind]
The day that seems too much for me passes by

Namjoon squints his eyes. What a soft voice. Even if the way he moves is very light. Short, graceful and delicate movements while waving the fan.

Today, too, the words can't be said
And can only be reflected in one's heart
It's hard, it's hard, it's hard

Namjoon furrows his eyebrows a little and looks to the side. He notices that they follow a score and well, he's sure it's theirs Where did they get it from? Jimin's voice distracts him.

Whenever it's hard [for you]
You can get a hug from me
I am the same
No matter how much you hide it
You know you can't hide it forever
So we can smile together

Jimin smiles in a very childlike way with his face uncovered. A broad, tender gesture with his head bowed. Namjoon suffers a shiver and slight urge to cry. It makes him think back a lot to when they were children. That Jimin was just learning to dance and was going to teach him the new thing he had gotten. The one that discreetly showed that he found some of the notes he had left hidden.