Darkness Visible ➳ TVD ✔️

🪁||43|| ''You did that?''

43! 💜🖤

~~~~~~~~~~

We were silent the first half hour. Whenever I glanced at him, he was looking straight ahead at the road in front of us. This was a bad idea. It was supposed to be a chance to get away from everything and just focus on myself for a while – and here I was, inviting him along and practically erasing the chance of me relaxing for even just a moment. At least that's what it felt like right now.

I tried to relax and keep my breathing even. We were almost on the highway, and then I'd have even more time to think. Just highway, all the way over the state line and to Chattanooga were I was supposed to make my first stop. Nothing but highway and me and Elijah cramped together in a car. But I was here, and there wasn't really much I could do about it. Maybe spend some time figuring out something to say.

It bugged me that he was so quiet. Sure, I'd gone along with his idea – but that was exactly what it was. His idea. And he wouldn't let a word out. The stubbornness in me kept quiet partly because of that.

I'd already expressed my anger towards him, somewhat, when I asked him about Elena. And I wanted to bring it up again. I wanted to figure out what he was thinking. And even though friendlier feelings rose to the surface, pushing me towards him, I didn't want to lose sight of my annoyance. Me being an empath and clearly having issues with being too friendly with people shouldn't push away any resentment that was completely justified. Klaus' words rang in my head. Balance.

Checking the rearview mirror, I flinched when a car drove past us at a way too high speed. Not too much thinking, I had to remind myself. I didn't want to die in a car crash.

''I'm sorry,'' Elijah said suddenly.

''You're going to have to be a little more specific,'' I mumbled, making sure to check all mirrors more often.

''For causing you pain.''

His words were like someone punching me in the stomach. Right now, he was so black and white. Either he was apologising, or he was doing something he'd later apologise for. He felt bad, clearly, but he did it anyway. So I wasn't sure how to take his apology.

''Why did you do it?'' I asked.

''You don't know?''

''No, I do. But tell me why.''

He was silent for a moment before he answered in a low voice. ''To protect my family.''

I nodded. ''Exactly. And last time you protected your family, someone innocent died. Same this time.''

Elijah cleared his throat. ''The witch was hardly innocent in this.''

''Okay, fine,'' I said. ''But that's not the point.''

I sighed and leaned back against the seat, debating whether or not to tell him; and then everything just came flowing out my mouth without cease.

''You know why I went on this trip? Because I was sick and tired of all the death. With every trouble that shows, someone dies. I'm tired of people- of people dropping like flies. It's like it goes against everything that I am. I couldn't deal with it. And I guess-'' I drew a breath. ''I guess I went away because despite all of that, I need to learn how to deal with it. No matter how much I hate it.''

His silence was deafening. I shouldn't expect him to have anything to say to my rant, but I had opened myself up more than I was comfortable with. Maybe that was all it was.

''Just... forget I said anything,'' I mumbled and gripped the wheel tighter.

Then it was just the steady hum of the car and the occasional swish of someone overtaking us, for what felt like an eternity. I didn't look at him, and tried to loosen my clenching hands when I saw my knuckles turning white.