LewRice Chronicles

You're Right

I hopped out of the car, grabbing my mask as well along with my wallet. "You're seriously mad at me? I said I didn't want to fight and you're angry with me for it!" I grumbled, grabbing her arm. She turned to me swiftly, inches away from my face.

"I'm not angry. I don't want to fight either, Sean, especially not with you. You know that better than anyone." She spoke sharply, as she attempted to brush the hair out of her face due to the slight breeze. I lifted my hand to her face and moved the strand to tuck behind her ear.

Due to the mask, I couldn't see the blush on her cheeks, but it was prominent on her neck. A slight smirk settled on my lips as I saw the effect my action had on her. However, my smirk faded when she turned away and proceeded to walk to the entrance.

"I'm disappointed. You continuously refuse to be honest with me. I thought we were done keeping secrets from each other." She shrugged, grabbing a shopping cart then sanitizing it with a disinfecting wipe.

"Kaycee, we are!" I reassured her. Kaycee scoffed in response then guided herself through the aisles. "I'm happy as long as you are, angel. That's all that matters to me..." I sighed, handing her the towels she was struggling to reach.

"And that's me being honest." I said just above a whisper, only a few inches from her face. She let out a shaky breath as our eyes met naturally. Her eyes softened almost instantly, causing my stomach to flutter. Every time we connected, even through the simple action of eye contact, it felt like a new drug in my system.

"Kaycee..." I voiced softly. My eyes flickered from her own to her mask. I could only fantasize about how her lips felt. They lived in my memory down to the lined print on them. "I want-"

"There you guys are! Dev and I were looking all over for you two." We heard a voice call out from behind us. I quickly snapped out of it while Kaycee's eyes never left me. "We'll be right there. We're just grabbing a few things." I said, glancing at Kaycee for a second.

"Okay. We'll be in the produce section." Kylie winked, pulling Devon along with her. I chuckled at her action then divided my attention back to Kaycee.

Softly clearing my throat, I lifted my hand to her face, sweeping a strand behind her ear once again. "We should go, angel." I voiced. Kaycee wrapped her fingers around my wrist quickly before I could walk away.

"What do you want?" She asked breathlessly. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion at her question as we locked eyes once again. "You said 'I want...', what is it that you want?" She repeated, stepping closer to me. Her fingers had a loose grip on me, almost as if she were scared to hold onto me any tighter.

"It's nothing. I can just tell you later." I lied, brushing it off. Before I got away, my best friend grabbed my arm, pulling me into her. I stopped myself from colliding with her by putting my hand on one of the shelves. "Kaycee, for Christ's sake, be careful! I could've hurt you." I hissed.

"Don't worry about it. You already have." She scoffed, crossing her arms. "This is not the time. I just want to shop and help you, okay?" I said dismissively, grabbing the cart.

"When is it ever the time, Sean?! All you've been doing for the past 3 months is lie to me or push me away. Then before that, since you were 15, you've always found some way to distance yourself from me right when I feel like we're actually getting fully close. Ever since I got the house, you've been...just...rude!" She snapped, the hurt in her tone evident.

"Listen, I'm not good with my emotions either, but at least-" She cut herself off as tears started to form in her eyes. I stepped closer to her, only for her to back away. The way her arms were settled seemed as if she was trying to protect herself.

I had no idea she felt that way. Ever.

"I'm leaving. I can't do this right now." She sniffled, blinking away her tears. Before I could say anything, she pulled out her phone and dialed someone before walking away. My heart sunk as her petite figure went out of my sight.

With a heavy sigh, I went to find Kylie and Devon so we could proceed shopping. "Where's Kaycee?" Devon asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"She wasn't feeling well, so she went to the car." I explained.

"Why don't you go join her? I have tons of her ideas in our notes. It's probably best I do it anyway. You know how indecisive she is." Kylie stated with an amused grin.

"I don't think she wants to hear from me right now." I sighed, distracting myself with the variety of fruits.

"That's why you go anyway." Devon remarked, taking the few items out of our cart. "We got this. Go check on my sister."

I opened my mouth to decline their offer, but they both gave me a look, which was quite frightening coming from the both of them. I hurriedly turned around and flew out of the store to my angel's car. I walked up to it, only to see her through the window. She had her face buried in her hands and her straightened locks acting as curtains to her face. Her body rose and fell quickly as if she couldn't breathe.

I hated seeing her upset. It was like half of my soul was dead. Anything attached to the feeling of happiness was nonexistent if Kaycee wasn't feeling like herself.

I raised my hand and knocked on the window. Kaycee jumped in her seat, still breathing uncontrollably. Her eyes met mine and instantly, I felt my heart plummet. I couldn't do this anymore. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face resembled a tomato, and her hands were shaking. I pulled the knob to open the door but to no avail.

"Kaycee, please let me in!" I yelled so that she could hear me. All she could do was watch me and my frantic motions. "Angel, please. I'm ready to talk...I want to talk." I pleaded, pulling the knob once again. This was hell. I felt so helpless. There was my best friend crying hysterically and all I could do was watch.

As I watched tears flow down her cheeks, my own started to form. I wiped my eyes harshly while trying to think of a way to communicate with her.

I whipped out my phone and pressed her contact before holding it up to my ear. Hope filled my heart as I saw her look down at her phone. She looked at me then the phone again. "Please." I whispered to myself. I closed my eyes, hanging my head as I neared the automatic voice machine. Each ring was like a knife to the heart, counting down to the moment my heart would stop beating.

I let out a shaky breath as the machine played in my ear. The beep sounded for a possible voicemail message, so I took the opportunity.

"Hi Kaycee, it's Sean, which you obviously know." I started, letting out a nervous, yet sad chuckle. "Look, I'm an asshole for making you feel that way. This is your day and life, and I'm so proud of you. You've come far and I have the pleasure of watching you evolve." I said, while looking at her face.

"The truth is that I'm not happy. I've been so aloof from you and you don't deserve that. I'm not happy with letting you go because that's what it feels like. I keep forgetting that we're not in this together and being here reminds me of that reality—that we aren't together...and that upsets me. It's not fair to take that out on you so I'm sorry that I did." I explained while watching her wipe her tears.

"I know you can't hear me and that you won't let me in, but when you do listen to this...please know that I have fallen for you. That is why I've been so detached. I'm trying to stop myself, but you make that impossible. For years I've been trying to stop, but I can't and now it's too late because...even looking at you right now through this window, you're in tears and still, you steal my heart." I said before letting out a sigh.

"God, you drive me crazy." I chuckled, wiping my glossed eyes once again. "I'm going to give you space, but be well aware that I'm thinking about you and those thoughts are endless." I cleared my throat, snapping myself out of the trance my best friend had me in. "And you know what, you're right. Cream is a brilliant color for you." I laughed thinking of our bickering voices. "Anyway, this message is getting long. I'm sorry, angel. Call me back when you want to talk. Get home safe."

I pulled the phone away from my ear then pressed the end call button. With that, I ordered an Uber home and waited.