Chapter 47 - The Emirates

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The next day, Luke, Mum and I left Sydney to go to London. They hadn't been to London in many years, since we went on holiday when I was twelve and Luke was seven. 

I had a game for Arsenal on the weekend, and I was so excited for Mum and Luke to watch their first live Arsenal match. Due to covid, Mum and Luke had never seen me live for Arsenal, despite me playing two seasons over in the Super League. I will never get over the fact that dad never got to be in the stands watching me play for Arsenal. He never got to cheer me on. He never got to wear the iconic red of the gunners.

When I arrived back at my apartment with Mum and Luke, Kristie and Sam came over to see us.
"Hey," I said to Kristie as I opened the door to let her and Sam in.
"Hi," she replied, hugging me. We hadn't seen each other in a few weeks now, due to international break and me being in Sydney.
"Hey darls," Sam then said to me, and Kristie went inside.
"Liz," Kristie said, going over to Mum and embracing her in a hug. "Luke, you've got so big. Jesus Christ." She went and gave Luke a hug also. Both Kristie and I hadn't seen Luke since he was 14, a tiny, undeveloped boy, who was shorter than me. Now he towers over both of us.

They stayed over for coffee and cakes, supporting me and letting Mum, Luke and I just talk and be. They are two of the most selfless and kind people, and I know they were both really worried about me over the last week. They knew that if I was struggling before, which I was, then that would be exemplified now.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there," Kristie said, in reference to the funeral.
"It's alright darling," Mum said, grabbing Kristie's hand, "you've done so much for Indi and for us." Which is true. Kristie has done more than she will ever realise. More than she will ever know.

On the weekend, we were set to face Manchester City at The Emirates. Luke was so excited to watch a game in the big stadium. As I was about to leave to go off to get to the ground, Luke called out to me.
"Inds, do you have a Harrison jersey Mum and I could wear?"
"Yeah, of course," I said, smiling. I went back to my soccer cupboard and took out two of my multiple soccer jerseys. My soccer cupboard is back with jerseys. I have my Houston ones, Arsenal, Matilda's and Sydney FC all packed inside the small hall cupboard.
"Cool," he said as I passed him the shirts.
"I'll see you there," I said to him, "the tickets are right here." I pointed towards the kitchen bench and he nodded.

Kristie picked me up outside my apartment and we drove to the Emirates. When we arrived, we went straight into the locker room. Although I had seen the girls earlier in the week at training, they still all huddled around me like I was broken.
"How are you feeling?" Leah asked me, as we sat tying our shoes.
"I'm okay," I replied to her.
"I'm here for you," she said, "we all are. You are incredibly strong and brave, and I know that you are an inspiration to so many. We're all so proud of you, Indi, truly." I started to slightly cry, a smile printing on my face. Leah embraced me in a hug, before Beth came over.
"We're gonna do it for you today," Beth said, hugging me after Leah.
"We all are," Leah added. I wiped the tears off my face and we got the girls to huddle around before we went onto the pitch.

"Guys," I said to them, "Let's just win today, yeah?" They all screamed. We were given black armbands to wear for my Dad and additionally, I wrote, in black ink on my arm:

13 <3

"You should get that tattooed," Kristie said to me, as we were about to walk out onto the field
"A tattoo?" I said, questioning it.
"Yeah, to remember him." I thought about that, and loved the idea of having him permanently imprinted on my skin. To have a constant reminder of my dad.

When the game started, I went out with fire. I needed to prove to everyone that despite going through hell, I wasn't broken, and I was still just as ready to win. I played some rough tackles, but they were all legal. I blocked two shots using my head and assisted Viv for the first goal. Manchester City, although confident to begin with, started to falter. They couldn't handle the immense defensive pressure Leah, Jen and I were placing on them. By half time, we were up by 1.

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