CRUSHED

ix - people watching

"I told Shay I'm gay." The girls' heads snap to Alec. He sits down with a carefree smile pulling at his cheekbones.

The girls mirror his happiness. "Guessing it went well." Freedom reaches over and squeezes Alec's hand laid on the table. Alec nods contently. "I was never scared of how he would react I just needed time. It still feels weird saying it out loud. No matter how many fruity role models I have."  Nevaeh grins. "I told my mum too. Announced it during family monopoly. Both our dads were there." The girls simultaneously throw their heads back in laughter. Trust Alec to come out during family game night.

"How did they take that?" Nevaeh asks cautiously. "Mum was really happy that I finally told them, she revealed she knew but didn't want to rush me. I know I'm not very subtle about it." Alec purposely flicks his wrist in amusement. The girls smile widely. "Anyway, Dad also kind of knew. I think they had talked about it. Mateo was kind of weird about it, I think he's just not used to the idea of it." Nevaeh nods in understanding. Her dad was as traditional African as it gets, her mum mixed with German but they are trying. Mateo, Shay's dad is as carefree as it gets, but he is also very traditional Mexican.

"I'm really happy for you Alec." Freedom rounds the table to hug the younger tightly. "I know Shay would've taken care of his dad if he didn't take it well." Alec nods still smiling. He is just so happy. Free. Nevaeh remembers the feeling. Telling her parents changed everything. Why should she care about what anyone else thinks if her own mum and dad couldn't care less? She wished everyone else could be so lucky. Her parents cared more about her grades and how she carried herself than who she decided to date.

Nevaeh had gotten through telling her parents she was bisexual. Getting over a certain blue eyed boy is light work.

"Did you see them at the party?" Nevaeh sighs, her peace immediately ruined. The coed group are sat about two tables away from them. The lack of people in the common room allows her to eavesdrop effortlessly. Freedom and Alec sitting back to listen too as they glance at Nevaeh's taunt face.

"Oh my God, don't even. I thought they were dating, but then you blink and he's making out with Rebecca." "Poor Nevaeh. You'd think if anyone could make Arden Knox settle down it would be her." "Clearly, she's not all that." "Kelly!" One of the boys gasp. Nevaeh slouches into her chair, laying her had back on the chair.

"Are you okay? Disregarding the rest, you guys did look pretty close." Nevaeh doesn't look at Alec as she answers. "You heard them. He kissed Rebecca. I think that's closer than we were." Freedom grimaces. "Arden's so dumb. Nevaeh you know this." "Dom it's none of my business. He can do what he wants." Freedom stares at her best friend's drained face. School was by far not her environment. She never fails to notice how it always drains the life out of her no matter how good of a mood she was in previously. Summer can't come quick enough.

Nevaeh leaves her business management class, Scott following after her.

"Are you okay?" Scott's frown deepens when Nevaeh glances back at him. The two stand to the side, waiting for the hallway to clear out. School had just ended, no one would be planning on sticking around.

"Scott I'm so tired." Nevaeh practically collapses into the boy's arms. He instinctively wraps her up in his arms and pulls her flush against his chest.

Nevaeh and Scott had been friends the longest. Albeit it was a few days before she properly met Freedom but nevertheless. They immediately clicked when they met, both of them being new at the school. Scott had and would always be Nevaeh's comfort person after Leon. Him and Freedom were the closest to her. Also, Nevaeh and Scott were pretty similar. They both knew how difficult mundane tasks could be sometimes. They were there for each other through everything. Also being able to understand the pros and cons of being a person of colour in the higher class.

Nevaeh sniffles into Scott's shoulder. Crying in public makes Nevaeh even more miserable beyond belief but she can cry in front of Scott.

"What's wrong? Leon's back, school's nearly over." Scott pats Nevaeh's hair, trying to remind her of positive things.

"I'm so sick and tired of people always watching. Always. It's a lot right now. Too much." Scott sighs. Every once in a while Nevaeh has a meltdown over the spotlight constantly shining on her and her friends and family. The emotions build up until she can't physically leave her bed for a week.

"I brush it off and act like a bitch but that doesn't stop the anxiety pumping through my veins. Scott everyone hates me and it's all my fault." "Nothing is your fault Nevaeh. Don't self destruct now. We have one week left of school then you can wallow all you want. Can you get through this last week?" He ignores her destructive thoughts for the time being. First Scott needs to decide whether she just needs a nap or a full on intervention.

"I've turned everything in. I'm done." Scott nods slowly. "I'll drive you home, let's go."

Scott walks Nevaeh out of the castle of a school, his grip on her hand tight. People watch them make their way to his car. Scott opening the passenger side for Nevaeh. He already knows this will spread through the school like wildfire. Every time the two acted remotely attached or tender towards each other, people talked.

-

18/10/21

this feels very heavy, got a bit carried away sorry. also very short apologies. feel like it portrays how abrupt mood swings are

anyone else have a really shit social battery and stops talking to people to recharge