CRUSHED

xi - talk to your friends

27/10/21

heyy work gc going crazy rn

24/11/21 - update i've muted it, they're so annoying

cursive dialogue in this means they're speaking german

-

Nevaeh sighs contently as she pours a bag of Walkers into her bacon baguette. She smiles to herself, I should ditch modelling and become a chef instead. My plating is Michelin star worthy. She continues admiring her artwork- that being the rest of her cheese and onion crisps that didn't fit into her roll, neatly piled beside it on her maroon and white plate.

It had been a week since her and Arden kissed. They had been avoiding each other since. She was recharging her social battery and he was packing and preparing for Germany. The two refused to speak about it further. They are stuck in limbo. What happens now? After the incident Arden left and Nevaeh hadn't seen him since.

Nevaeh can only imagine what she looks like right now. Eating a crisps and bacon filled baguette while chugging down a flat two-litre bottle of Fruit Twist Fanta. I probably look like the poster child for diabetes, she chuckles to herself whilst still stuffing her face with her ruins. To make herself feel better she slurps down her fruit smoothie that she had pushed aside. This will definitely clear my conscious, Nevaeh thinks sarcastically, rolling her eyes at her weak attempt at being healthy.

"Please tell me you're stress-eating because if this is a normal weekly occurrence I'm going back to Germany, Cousin." Nevaeh peers over her laptop from her spot at the far-end of the oak dining table. "I'm nwot spress-eatwing," Nevaeh attempts to say through a mouthful of bacon, actual cheddar and cheese and onion.

"Yeah, okay babes. Does your mouth know that?" Nevaeh holds up a stiff middle-finger at Leon, causing him to let out a fake laugh as he sits across her. Ignoring his cousin's protests he plucks some of her crisps off her plate, throwing them into his mouth without hesitation.

Dusting the crumbs off her hands, Nevaeh looks across the table at Leon with pursed lips. "I haven't forgotten, you know." Leon stares back at Nevaeh, raising his eyebrows. "Should I know what you're talking about?" Nevaeh scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Your relationship drama. I would've asked you about it the night you got here but I was a little preoccupied." Now Leon scoffs. "You two were basically having a lover's quarrel, don't sugarcoat it." Nevaeh closes her rose gold Macbook, her attention now fully on Leon.

"Anyway, I remember what you said- so explain." Leon sighs, resting his head on his hands supported by his elbows on the table.

"Remember that boy I told you about? It was a while ago but-" "Isaak?" Nevaeh tilts her head, playing with the straw in her smoothie. "Yeah, him. Isaak Walter," Leon breathes out.

For a few seconds the two sit in complete silence, Nevaeh waiting for him to speak and Leon trying to get his shit together.

"So," Nevaeh starts, her impatience getting the better of her. "-So, a few months ago I broke up with Isaak." Nevaeh nods slowly. "How long were you two together for?" Leon curses himself for knowing the exact date him and the now foreign boy broke up on. "About ten months. I don't know if you would even call it that. We were supposedly casual the first few weeks but we both started getting unnecessarily jealous and decided to make it official or whatever." Nevaeh stays quiet, processing this new information.

"Anyway, after a while things went to shit. We're both at the top of the food chain in Germany, so you'd think we'd get on well because we understand each other. Unfortunately for us it was the opposite. He had been the player at school and me being me I ignored all the warnings from the whole fucking school. God, that is so cliche," Leon runs a hand through his hair, unconsciously slipping into his mother tongue. "Moving on, he cheated on me with some random girl and a load of my friends knew but didn't tell me. I would never admit it to myself but that's probably one of the reasons that I came here- more like escaped." "Babe, how have you kept that a secret? That must've been so shit Lee, why didn't you tell me sooner?" Nevaeh gets up and rounds the table, plopping herself in Leon's lap to hug him.

"You didn't tell me about your parents and I didn't tell you about my boyfriend- ex-boyfriend." Leon's voice is muffled by Nevaeh's neck but she still hears him loud and clear. Nevaeh pulls her head away from Leon with raised eyebrows, as if to say say, 'don't even try it'. "You know that's not the same thing." Leon rolls his eyes. "We both haven't told each other a lot of things apparently. But whatever, now we know." Nevaeh squeezes Leon again before getting up and going back to her side of the table. She can't seem to brush off the guilt she feels at how oblivious she was to the shit that went on in Leon's life.

I've been so self-absorbed that I couldn't even clock that my own cousin, who's more like a brother to me was being treated like a joke by people that were supposed to defend him. Well done Nevaeh, Most Selfless Family Member of The Year Award goes to you.

Just when she reopens her Macbook Leon speaks up again. "Talk to your friends. Stop shutting them out." Nevaeh looks up at Leon offering a small smile. "I know I'm trying." Leon nods in understanding. He gets up, stopping to give Nevaeh another squeeze before leaving.

"I'll tell Freedom you'll text her." "Danke."

Nevaeh calls out to Leon again before he can leave.

"Lee, I'm sorry." Knowing exactly what she's talking about Leon nods with a small smile. "I know Nev, it's okay."

Leon slides the door, connecting the oversized dining room and even bigger kitchen, closed, leaving Nevaeh alone to her thoughts.

"Arden is leaving for Germany tonight." Nevaeh looks up at Freedom as she walks into the living room. "Hello to you too." Nevaeh smiles softly. Freedom smiles widely at the content look on her face. "Hi Nev. Arden is leaving tonight." Nevaeh rolls her eyes. Freedom beams as she sits beside her on the ivory L-couch. "I know." Freedom subtly raises her eyebrows. "Did he tell you when he came over a few days ago? I still don't know how he finished school before me," Freedom scoffs. The corner of Nevaeh's mouth twitches with amusement before she responds. "Yeah he told me. Gone for two weeks right? He'll be back a week before we go to New York for your birthday." Nevaeh smiles widely at Freedom's reaction from the reminder. "I almost forgot about that. I can't wait."

Quickly snapping out of her distraction Freedom faces Nevaeh. "What happened between you two? He was being weird." Nevaeh rubs her eye. "Nothing." If she pretends it didn't happen she can't feel any emotion towards the situation.

"Nev." Nevaeh leans her head back on the couch, ready for the incoming lecture. "My brother's stupid. This is common knowledge. What is going on? I need to know so I can decide whether to castrate him or not." Nevaeh smiles with her eyes closed. "We just had a weird moment. I think we've crossed a line that can't be drawn again. I don't know." Freedom has to refrain from squealing. Childishly she's always wanted her brother and her best friend to date because her younger self thought that meant they would automatically be recognised as family. Now Freedom just wants the two to date because she sees the way they are with each other. The way they look at each other. They act like the other is insufferable but really they are inseparable.

She has seen the way their relationship has changed. She sees the way they always unconsciously gravitate towards the other. They have recently become very touchy and dependent on each other. Whether it be squeezing the other's hand or Nevaeh patting Arden's chest. Over the years Arden had no choice but to be present during the girl's drama updates. Now it's different. He willingly listens to whatever bullshit Nevaeh comes up with. The boy can't say no to her.

"I love you and I love my brother. You deserve each other. You both accept and understand each other so well. I don't know Nevaeh, what do you want?" Nevaeh sighs, keeping her eyes shut. Hearing Freedom phrase it like that is a shock. She knows they have always had her vote. She just didn't realise how serious it was though.

"Freedom I don't know what I'm doing. I don't think we're ready to be in proper relationships. That's so crazy. I change massively every few months. I can't fall for your fucking brother. Dom I cannot be vulnerable like that. You know that." Freedom nods. "You two are so similar it's scary. I don't know how it's taken you two this long to cross the line. Well I do know," Freedom rolls her eyes. They are both terrified of sacrificing their friendship. "I feel like we have so much more growing to do. I don't even think he's serious about this." Freedom groans.

How the fuck is she going to solve this mess? Because clearly the two are incapable of being honest with each other.