I'm generally open about my gender identity to people I know are accepting, and thus includes at school. I'm not out to everyone there, though, which can make things kind of suck.
Today, despite me not being out, I decided I was going to take a risk:
I would try to use the boy's bathroom.
I planned it all out in advance: I wore my men's shirt and some jeans, I borrowed my dad's face mask, and I confirmed with myself several times that I passed as a boy. My strategy was simple: walk to the other restroom where there's fewer people, hunch my shoulders to make my chest appear flatter, and put my hands in my pockets. If I walked in and someone I knew was in there, I could say I walked into the wrong restroom and leave. I really thought about it.
I walked over there a few minutes ago (We're having a catch up period for art due to the PSATS and all of my work's done so I can be on my phone) and I was nervous as all hell. I had no idea if this would even work, and I risked getting in trouble, but if I succeeded, the euphoria would be so worth it.
I made it over there, and took a deep breath. It all culminated in this. Anxiously, I made sure the coast was clear one more time, then put my hand on the handle and pulled the door.
It was locked.
My exact first thought was, "Motherfucker."
So, that was disappointing. Oh well. I just used the girl's room. Nothing gained, nothing lost.
YOU ARE READING
Some Kind of Journal I Guess
RandomI'm just going to jot down my thoughts here about whatever. The cover image is CRT because they're genderfluid, so like... instant connection (also I just didn't know what else to put for the cover) Former Title: Just My Random Thoughts
