~𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓭𝓮 𝓓𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓷~ ••𝓢𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻••

Columbine

"What?" I asked. I held my phone to my chest feeling my heart shatter into a thousand pieces, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but my throat felt drier than a desert. I found myself shoving him back trying to mouth my words and find something to hit him back with.

But Selever just stood there, unmoving, unfeeling.

I tried shoving him back again, as if to tell him I was fine without him and he can go cry a river. But no matter how hard I pushed he wouldn't move from that spot, I felt the tears drip down my chin and in my last effort to make him feel something, anything, I slapped him hard across the face.

"You're taking this well." He huffed out.

"Shut up! Don't joke with me!" I cried, the wind picked up pace, I reached out for Selever but he slapped my hand away.

"What about being friends?" I asked through tears, please say yes, please say yes.

"I can't believe this shit, I deleted my number for a reason! Don't call me, don't text me." I threw my phone at him but he dodged and it shattered on impact when it hit the ground.

"I don't want to fight (Y/n)." He said narrowing his eyes.

"Well I don't want you to go!" I screamed, I swore there were eyes on me but I ignored them.

"I'm trying to end things civilly (Y/n) (Last name)." He hissed out of his mouth his crimson eyes glowering red.

"STOP!" I cried, "Stop, please." I said, "Think about this... Please reconsider."

"I've had time to think, all afternoon I've hung around Sky. Get a good look at her." He said lifting his phone to me, a blue haired girl with her arms around Selevers neck shooting him an alluring gaze.

"There's no way you can compare to her."

ooOOoo

That night was the hardest on me since my mom passed.

I couldn't sleep, I stayed awake staring at my habit and crying into it.

It was the second day when Sarvente visited, using her master key to get into my room and hold me to her chest, trying to comfort me the best she could.

"It hurts." I said, barely breathing, "It feels like.... I'm drowning." I cried, "I can't sleep without dreaming of him! I can't go an hour without my mind hurting, Sarvente, make it go away!" I cried and cried into her and she stayed to comfort me.

"I can't, I can't."  She had repeated to me, "I'm so sorry." I cried into her shoulder, I had a feeling she knew it all along, but she didn't want to say anything.

Because I would have denied her.

I threw up every single fragment of food Sarvente, Ruv or Rasazy delivered me. I felt sick, I felt disgusted with myself.

During the day I clung to Sarvente as I took rounds around the church, the light was dimmer and the roses that were once a beautiful pink seemed to wilt and drop their petals as I passed.

During the night I gripped my pillow as hard as I could trying to stop all the terrors that flooded me through my dreams. Some nights Ruv would wake me up because I was screaming in my sleep, even allowing me a space on their couch so he could watch out for me like he did to Sarvente.