Peter Parker One-shots

Costume Switch

A/N: This is a funny one ya'll. Sorry it's kinda short, but enjoy ;)

"Yo Clint does this suit make my ass look bigger?"

Clint swiveled around to look at Tony who was checking himself out in the floor length mirror in the Tower's main living room.

"Um... I'm not really sure what to answer to that" Clint responded, clearly trying to get out of the awkward conversation that he knew neither of them would benefit from. 

"It's a simple question Clint. I specifically chose Steve's suit to test out if it was the suit that made his ass look thicc or he just has a great ass. So Clint. Does. It. Make. My. Ass. Look. Bigger?"

 "I-"

"Odin's beard! Look at how spectacular this suit is. Really shows off my muscles." Thor came running into the room dressed in Natasha's suit and started to do really bad cartwheels and karate kicks. 

"THOR DON'T YOU DARE STRETCH OUT MY SUIT" Natasha screamed from the other room while he was flexing his muscles.

"Uh, so are all just going to ignore Thor dressed in the tight Black Widow suit or?..." Bruce said from the corner while he was trying to fit into Thor's heavy metal armor, "Man what is this stuff made of? It's so heavy"

Thor chuckled, "Puny mortal, it's supposed to be the lightest metal on Asgard."

Bruce frowned, "Now that's just mean."

"Pew Pew!" Natasha yelled while jumping into the room, fully clad in the Hawkeye suit and with a bow and arrow.

"Hey! I do not say 'pew pew'!" Clint pouted as Natasha pretended to shoot arrows. 

Tony raised an eyebrow at Clint, "Really then what is it you do?"

"Damn that was harsh" Bruce mumbled.

Clint pouted but walked away to the bar on the other side of the room.

"I quite like my new ensemble" Stephen Strange said while stomping in his metal Iron Man suit.

"WHOAH watch the blasters dude" Tony yelled putting out a hand to stop Stephen from trying to fly in the suit. Stephen just shrugged and continued to play with the suit's mechanics. 

"Oh powerful beings. I am the greatest witch of all time! Mwah-haha-haha" laughed Steve in a red cape and Dr. Strange's usual outfit. 

"I am NOT A WITCH! I am the Sorcerer Supreme, bitch!" Stephen exclaimed.

"Shhhhhh, Peter's coming! Hide!" Clint called out and jumped behind the bar after quickly grabbing a bottle of rum and taking a swig of it. 

The Avengers all took hiding behind various pieces of furniture in the room while Stephen used his magic sparkly fingers to turn off the lights.

As soon as Peter walked in and flicked on the lights again, the Avengers jumped out of their hiding spots and screamed, "Surprise!"

Peter shrieked and jumped up, sticking on to the ceiling and hanging upside down. 

As soon as he realized there was no threat, he climbed down and looked at his friends in awe. 

"You-you guys threw me a surprise party?" Peter said with his lip trembling.

"Oh kid don't cry. Of course we threw you a party. It's not every day you turn eighteen!" Tony exclaimed coming to hug the kid.

"You guys are just the best and- OMG did you guys switch costumes??" Peter shouted looking around at everyone.

Steve scratched the back of his neck embarrassedly, "we know you've always wanted us to trade suits, so we wanted to surprise you."

"I just love you all. Oh and I call dibs on the black widow suit." Peter called out, looking to Thor.

"Come on Pete, let's go get some cake" Steve said chuckling and he wrapped his arm around Peter while guiding him out of the room.

"Speaking of cake..." Tony glanced down and checked out Steve, "that really is America's ass."

"Yeah sorry Tony it's not the suit, he just has a great ass."

"DAMN IT CLINT!"