I Was Always Yours || VMIN

C H A P T E R [E̲̅][I̲̅][G̲̅][H̲̅][T̲̅]

Jimin ran towards Tae's room. He saw the said man sitting at his study table, reading a book. Jimin couldn't control himself. He went behind him to hug him from behind and started sobbing.

Tae was shocked to see the charming boy, crying in front of him.

"What! What happened to you, Minnie!"

He turned towards the younger who was crying silently,nudging his face in his lap. Tae pulled him closer and let Jimin cry into his chest.

"Why are you crying silly? Haven't I told you before that I don't like it when you cry." He held Jimin's cheeks in his hands and grazed his finger under those big watery eyes to remove the tears.

"Tell me what happened?" He asked Jimin, comforting him in his warm embrace.

Jimin was crying in his arms. He tried to say something in between his sniffles.

"Taetae, do you also think, a man can't like another man? A boy, if he likes another boy, he..he is a Faggot, He is mentally ill.Te..tell me. Do you also think that?"

"Noo Minnie! Never! Why would I think so? Being a man, It's nothing wrong to like another man.Tell me what happened? Does anyone bother you? Why are you crying?" Tae said worriedly. What exactly happened? Why was Minnie so hurt?

"Jin hyung was going to attempt suicide. We saved him.."

"What!! What happened to Jin? Is Namjoon okay?" Tae was shocked and afraid, thinking of the possible reason.

"How will you feel when your own Dad wouldn't accept that you are what you are, that You are gay? Today Dad hasn't approved of Jin Hyung and Joon Hyung's relationship, only because they are gay. He forced Hyung to break up with Joon Hyung. Jin Hyung was almost on the verge of ending his life. If mom and I hadn't entered the room at the right time, he would.."Jimin broke into tears.

"Shhh...Everything will be okay. Don't cry.." Tae patted his back. A teardrop came out of his own eyes, flowed through his cheek and then landed on the younger's hair.

"Nothing will be okay Taetae. You can't imagine, you can't imagine how it feels."

"I know exactly how it feels, Minnie, I know. Do you remember? You always asked me where my dad was, when my dad suddenly disappeared one day. And I used to tell you that I didn't know. Maybe he had vanished." Tae chuckled sadly.

"But you were so curious, you didn't stop asking me where my dad was. That was quite normal though. But still one day I became so angry and acted rude to you. You were hurt by my behaviour. Can you remember?"

Jimin raised his head up and nodded slightly while sobbing "Yes, I can. Next day you came to my room to say sorry. You were crying. I asked you why but you said that you would tell me later.but you never talked about it again."

" Yes, I will tell you now."

Tae hardened his jaw and sighed. " My dad was very strict just like your dad. But both of us hadn't expected that their's also another common factor between them. They both are Homophobic." Tears started flowing down from Tae's eyes also.

"When I was 15, I had a crush on a boy. I don't know how but one day my dad found that. Until that day, I knew that my father was a strict, disciplined man. But that day I found a new version of him. He was stubborn and conservative with his disgusting homophobic rules. He started scolding and beating me for liking a boy. I didn't know what to do. I never expected that my own dad wouldn't want me. It was the same case that Jin and you are facing now." At this point, they both are crying.

"But my mom was there for me. She spoke against him, she supported me. And then?" Tae chuckled sadly.

"Then dad left both of us here in this house. Since then, I don't know where he is or how he is."

"I am so sorry for you." Jimin hugged him tightly, "I am so sorry for asking you that question so many times in the past. I am too afraid just to think of your situation. I have you to share my sadness. But back then you had no one to talk with." He caressed Tae's face.

"It's ok, You were quite young then to understand those things. That's why I couldn't tell you. And except you, I had no one in my life to talk with. I still don't have anyone. It's only you."

They both stayed hugging each other for some time. Then Tae pulled away from the hug and leaned on the bed. He patted the space beside him. Jimin slept beside him and snuggled his face in Tae's chest. Both of them were on Tae's bed cuddling each other. In a few minutes Tae could hear the soft snoring of the younger.

Jimin was looking beautiful and vulnerable. His pale cheeks were looking more glassy due to the tears on his cheeks. His fingers were curled up in fists. His eyes were not fully closed, but the gaps between his two eyelids were filled with tears.

"Sleeping beauty." Tae smiled and carefully pulled away from the cuddle. He patted Jimin's arms and cheeks, then got up from the bed to take his diary and pen. He started writing out the thoughts, which are clouding like bubbles in his mind.

He started writing in his diary.

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I don't love you to be loved back, Minnie. I just love you to LOVE YOU.

And I know, If you love someone, you should let him go.

I'll not tell you anything, even after your exams. I know, you don't think of me in that way. Maybe you think of me as the most annoying person in the world. I give you a lot of homework, always tell you to study, always order you to do my work. But you will never know why I do that.

If I'll confess to you, then you will also think about it and maybe love me back, because you are so sweet to everyone.

But I don't want to be the distraction in your smooth life. 
I don't want your dad to hate you because of me.

I will not ruin your future. You are a very bright boy, you can be the brightest person in future. I will not allow myself to ruin that. I just want you to be an ideal man in future, seeing whom everyone will say, "Look at him. How good he is. Be like him."

I think I should say 'yes' to her. I need something to divert my mind from you.

But always know this,
You were my first crush. Yes, I fought against my dad because I had a crush on you.

You are my first love and I think none but You will be my last.

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