HER || 18+ (OLD VERSION)

E I G H T E E N

TW- Panic Attack. Eating disorder.

I was freaking out.

And not in a good way.

"Olivia, what's wrong?" Alisa asked, rubbing my back, trying to pull me back. But I could not stop the tears from streaming down. I could not stop myself from trembling. I could not breathe.

"Fucking hell," Alisa muttered grabbing my face in her hands. "Look into my eyes, Olivia, focus on it. Come on."

I couldn't. I just couldn't. It hurt, my heart hurt, it hurt so much that all I could feel was its beating. I could not feel her hands on my face. I could not feel her anywhere near me. Her voice was like an echo.

I was lost.

Everything was one fire.

And then, it was just warmth.

I felt arms surrounding me, strong arms which held me tightly, soft lips pressed to my forehead. I was surrounded by warmth. By comfort. By safety.

"Shh, kitten."

I clutched Zavier's shirt in my hands, gasping for breath as if managing to come up and breathe after drowning in the water for so long.

"Z-Zavier."

"We're here," I heard Ashton say. "Look at me, love. Come on."

I did. I looked at him with tear-filled eyes, he was sitting beside me, his hand cupping my face.

He smiled. "Hey, baby, you are okay." He gently hushed me. "You're okay."

I was okay.

I closed my eyes, snuggling into Zavier's chest. My body stopped shaking, my eyes heavied.

"It hurts here, " I whispered, putting my hand on my heart which was beating furiously

"Hey." Xerxes took my hand in his, his action firm and just, confident. It bought a sense of safety, being surrounded by three of them who had so much self-control when I was losing all my control. "You're okay," he whispered to me, his eyes firmly on my tear-filled ones. "You're okay, Olivia."

I was okay.

Was I?

I felt myself being picked up and then Zavier was walking out of the guest room I had been staying in at Alisa's apartment. I heard Ashton ask for my luggage from Alisa while Xerxes opened the front door so that Zavier and I could pass through.

. . .

I glared at the brush.

"What did brush do to my little one?" Ashton asked me, wrapping his arms around me from the back, setting his chin on my head.

"I can't make anything," I mumbled.

He hummed, his arms tightening. "How are you feeling?"

I frowned because they had asked me this question like a million times since we came here. Xerxes had made me eat a full pancake, refusing to let me out of the kitchen till I did and they didn't let me go to the washroom after eating.

They had done their research. Assholes.

"I'm okay," I told them because I was. Around them, I hurt a little less.

"Good," he murmured. "Will you ever tell us what's the reason for... all this, little one?" He asked quietly, I tried to turn to look at him but he kept me there. "We thought you were happy," he whispered. "We didn't come for you because we thought you were happy."

I gulped.

"Why did you never call?" He demanded.

I put my hands over his. "I...I deleted your numbers."

He froze for a second. "Oh." His arms loosened. "It was so easy for you." He laughed, it was a low furious sound. "So fucking easy, right?" His arms tightened.

I let out a breath. "Ashton."

"So fucking easy," he repeated. "How did you think we felt when we found out you fucked a guy? Who was that? Oh, Declan Arnaud. Your teacher's son," he snarled.

I gulped. "D-don't be mad, please." The last time I had heard him this furious, he had hurt me. They had hurt me so bad.

He turned me around, cupping my face, as he glared down at me.

His eyes softened when they fell on my tear-filled eyes.

"Baby." He sighed, setting his forehead against mine. "Olivia," he said, closing his eyes. "My little one," he murmured, nodding his head as if assuring that I was his, thumbs caressing my cheekbones. "Don't be scared of me."

Suddenly, he let go of me.

I looked at him.

His jaw was clenched. "I can't do this." He shook his head, running a hand through his hair, his glasses glinting in the sunlight coming through the windows.

"I-" he shook his head again. He turned around and walked out of the room, slamming the door shut.

I flinched.

. . .

I am supposed to greet some of my mom's friends. Instead, I wrote this like a dumb bad bitch I am. She's going to end me after they leave.

Anyways.

Thank you for 210k reads and 8k followers. Ily all.

Yeah, so get some food if you haven't eaten. I don't like how so many people relate to Oli. Guys, I love you. Take care of yourselves. You all deserved to be treated well, especially by yourself.

Bye-bye.