Part 7

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Good morning loves! I hope you all are staying safe, and have something or someone to make you happy. 

What do you all think of Permission to Dance!? SO PROUD OF YOONGI AND NAMJOON FOR THEIR VOCALS!

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I woke up with 7 sets of eyes above me. All with varying levels of concern. What happened? Why am I on the ground? Why are they looking at me like that? It wasn't until I groaned and rubbed my temples that they all, in unison, let go of whatever breathe they had been holding. I sat up, probably too fast because I almost immediately felt my body give out and start falling back again. Before I hit the ground, Taehyung caught me, and pulled me back into a sitting position. His arm remained behind my shoulders, while I rubbed my head again.

"What happened to her?" I heard Jimin say.

Jin responded to him. "We're not sure, she was looking at her phone and then she went down."

My phone? Fuck. The text!

I looked around for my phone, Jimin had it in his hand, "The last text she got was from an unknown, 'Hello, Kitten'."

"Lachimolala." My phone went off again. I could feel my blood pressure spike again. I absent mindedly leaned into Taehyung.

"Why can't I ever escape that damn phrase!" I heard Jimin whine. He handed me back my phone.

With shaking hands I opened the new message.

Don't leave me on read like that, Kitten. We have so much to discuss.

"Who is that? Why do you look like you are about to throw up?" Taehyung asked, rubbing small but pressured circles in my back.

John. My mind was going a million miles a minute. I just stared at my phone willing myself to wake up from this nightmare. How did he get my number? Has he found me? What does he want to say? What if he hurts my family? I need...I need...

"I need to call my sister." I say before leaving as fast as humanly possible to my room. No doubt 7 very confused sets of eyes following me.

I get in, lock the door, and start dialing. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Y/N? What's wrong, it's like 4 am here." She said in a rough voice. I haven't said his name out loud in so long. I'm not even sure I can anymore, " Y/N. What's wrong?"

"J-John. H-He t-text m-me." Stuttering my way through the sentence, it all came up after that. I vomited. Sorry, you had to watch that camera guy.

I collected myself while my sister kept calling out my name. When I finally put the phone back to my ear all I could do was cry, "Y/N. I'm calling Mom. I'll call you back. I promise. Everything will be OK, I promise." She hung up. I just cried harder.

I don't know how much time passed, but it was long enough for eyes to dry up, and my mind to just blank out. When 'Mama' started playing on my phone again, I apprehensively reached for it and saw that it was my parents number.

I answered it, "Mama?"

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I just thought it would help bring you home." She said. I tried to wrap my head around this.

She gave him my number? What was she thinking? How could she do this? "What did you tell him."

I surprised myself with how evenly I could speak, how void of emotion I had become. How numb I had become. I heard her starting to sniff on the other end.

"He just wants to make amends, Y/N. He wants to apologize for everything. He's clean, and married now. He doesn't want anything else from you. I just want you to come home, I want to see you again. It's been long enough." She sniffs again.

"What did you tell him, Mom?" I say through my teeth.

She sniffs again and sighs. "I told him you were working at the embassy in Korea."

No. "When did you meet him?"

"A couple days ago, he was in the supermarket with his wife. She seems young but they seem happy." No. No. No.

"You don't realize what you've done." I say more panic in my voice, bile threatening to spill again.

"Oh for goodness sake, Y/N. People change, and he looks so much better. Jail must have been his wake up call. He just wants to apologize and you better let him! Then you're coming home! I'm tired of this being in the way of seeing my daughter! Now compose yourself, and call or text him back." With every word she said I could feel the anger boiling up again. Just like last year.

I hung up on her. I couldn't process the way I was, I needed to do something, anything. I saw a pair of gloves Jungkook had lent me in case I wanted to use his punching bag. Perfect. I put them on, and walked out of the room and past the 7 BTS members that were waiting outside my door. I pushed past Yoongi and Taehyung, who were between me and the bag. 

I started punching. Harder, then faster. All the anger, fear, paranoid feelings being thrown at the bag. My thoughts slowly making more sense.

He called me Kitten. Punch. He wouldn't call me that if he just wanted to apologize. Punch. He knew my mom would be weak. Punch. He knew she would tell him where I was. Punch. What if he sends someone after me? Punch. What if I can't stop him this time? Punch. What if I'm not as strong as I thought? Punch. I have no one here to protect me from him. Punch. Just like I had no one there. Punch.

I'm overwhelmed, muscles sore from my earlier hike, sore from crying, sore from punching. I fall to my knees and slam my hands against the ground, taking the last of my rage with it. I start to calm my self down. Just when I'm about to lift my head up, a pair of hands run over my shoulders and gently sit me up. Namjoon.

He looks at me with concern, but smiles at me nonetheless, "I think it's time to tell us what you've been keeping locked up in your heart."

I sigh, and just nod. They know enough, I'm sure Namjoon has already got a partial picture in his head. So I may as well fill the wholes. The pieces that I thought I could bury. He helps me to my feet, and puts an arm around me protectively.

We walk over to the other members, and he sits me between Hoseok and Yoongi. Then he sits across from me. I can't help but feel like I'm in the middle of love and hate. Hoseok, the one who radiates literal fucking sunshine, even now I can feel his energy trying to make mine better. Not what I needed right now. Then Yoongi, who looks like I just ruined his entire existence with my problems. Honestly, I wouldn't like me much either after the story I'm about to tell them, it's filled with weakness, but what do I have to lose at this point. 

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The next two chapters will be a lot of processing. However, you can look forward to a double update. 😀

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