Hilarious Texts And Tales Of The Clone Wars

The Sithin' Slide

Maul: !!! That hurt!

Savage: Well you did slip...and slide. Which is why it's called a slippin slide

Maul: It is not!

Savage: I'm going to try it again! While no one's looking, of course...

Maul: No! I know exactly what we need to do! It is time to make some alterations...to this...contraption!

Two hours later:

Savage: Hey, I went to get ice cream like you said, but then they were out, so I broke into a store and stole some popsicles, but the real reason I was so late was because I found this missing kitten and had to bring it all the way back to its owner, so then I had to run across the freeway with a kitten like a mad man and- yeah, you're not paying attention

Maul: Ha ha ha!!! I present to you...the Sith'n Slide!!!!

-He shows the slippin slide, now covered in gasoline and flames

Savage: ...

Maul: The slippin' Slide of Death!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!

Savage: Wow, I, I can believe I didn't see that coming

Maul: Shall we try it?

Savage: ...How? I mean, without burning ourselves up?

Maul: I have robotic legs for a reason

Savage: Yeah, because you don't have real ones

Maul: They can also be used for my Sith'n slide!!!

Savage: I guess I'll be sliding on my robotic hand then...

Maul: Ah! But I have an even more ingenious idea! We lure the Jedi here and make them go down our slippin slide of death!!!

Savage: But, how would we lure them here?

Maul: I know exactly how...

Later, elsewhere:

Anakin: Can you believe it? Someone's giving away free sombreros and laundry detergent at the park!

Ahsoka: Kinda weird and random, but who could turn down the offer?

Aayla: Right? I'm so tired of using kool-aid packets to wash my clothes with

Kit: Wait, what?

Adi Gallia: It's a loooong story.

Obi Wan: I only came along for the free laundry detergent. I hope this isn't another vain attempt of Hondo's to make us take another of his "limited time" offers.

Anakin: Hey, look. There's-

Maul: Kenobi!!!! And other Jedi

Ahsoka: What is HE doing here?

Aayla: Free laundry detergent

Shaak Ti: I doubt it. He looks like the kind of guy who doesn't wash his clothes

Obi Wan: It's a trap!

Maul: Correct

Shaak Ti: I knew it

Maul: No, I meant what Kenobi said

Savage: Well technically she's right about the clothes too

Ahsoka: I think I get what Yoda means about Sith Lords these days...

Maul: You've fallen into my trap!!! I present to you...my Sith'n Slide of Death!!!!!

Adi Gallia: