Banished and 30 Days

15

When I saw Courtney, the world just stopped. Had my father done that to her? We walked back to the truck in silence. I couldn't bring myself to say a word. I just stared at Courtney's head in my arms. Her eyes were closed. I could only hear my heart beat. I wanted so badly to be where Courtney was. I was sitting beside her in the truck. I just couldn't stop wondering about the whole situation and how stupid it was. It was dark, Nick said it was probably best if we waited until she was at least conscious to move out. I just sat there staring at her, it had been hours and I hadn't moved, I refused to. I felt numb. I knew there was someone sitting beside me now but I just stayed silent. I hadn't noticed the hot tears streaming down my cheeks until now, I hadn't bothered wiping them away.
"My mom used to tell us that there's good and bad in everyone. I don't see the good in anybody anymore, I only see the flaws that make them bad" I said looking down at my hands, sniffing
"She's really lucky, you know that, right?" Nate asked me and I nodded
"Yeah, I do" I said, I hadn't cried in front of anybody except for my mom and dad, it felt strange
"She's gonna be okay. She's gonna be back to her old self before you know it" Nate said and I nodded
"My dad wasn't always like this. He used to be the nicest guy ever, he always wanted his people to be safe, he was always sure that I was okay but I never thought of him as a killer" I said and Nate nodded
"Sometimes, people aren't who they appear to be" Nate said, I hadn't thought about Nate's dad in a while, I figured he probably had no idea that I even knew who his father was but I felt like he was less upset about it then I would be if it was my dad
"How're you?" I asked, catching him off guard
"What do you mean?" Nate asked
"Your dad, he was shot before Mount Evans. I just wanted to make sure that you're okay" I said
"We weren't close enough for me to be upset" he replied. I didn't push him any farther on the subject, it was obvious that he and his father had a rocky relationship, it couldn't have been easy growing up with James Parker as a father especially if his mother died giving birth to him, plus he was made an example, he was a baby and already people looked to him as a role model; it was wrong. I honestly don't blame him for not wanting to talk about it, I don't even blame him for ending the example after all it is his life to live, he should choose how he lives it
"No offence but the last time I saw him all I could think is, he's sending four kids out to die but he's pardoning is? What a genius" I said with a small smile when I heard him laugh quietly
"He didn't always have the smartest ideas" Nate said
"But then again, who does?" I said pointedly
"It all depends on whether it works out or not" Nate said and I nodded
"I guess so" I said, I noticed that I hadn't exactly been staring at Courtney any more, that I couldn't hear my heart beating in my ears anymore
"What're you two lovebirds talking about?" Courtney said from the ground, my head whipped toward her
"Life. How're you feeling?" I asked as got down to her side
"As good as can be expected" Courtney said as she pushed herself up into a sitting position
"But you're feeling better?" I questioned and she smiled and raised an eyebrow
"But guys, admit it; I look great" Courtney said jokingly causing us to laugh
"Thank god you're alive. I probably just would've laid down and died" I said, she put her hand on my shoulder
"No, I'm thanking god that you're alive" she said, I tilted my head back in confusion. What was she talking about?