𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐲 || 𝐭. 𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚

⤷𝟜𝟜: 𝕓𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟

kageyama's pov—

kageyama knew you were gone forever the second those words left his lips.

and yet he didn't regret them. not a single one.

and he didn't care.

because he meant every word.

okay maybe he didn't actually mean every single word he said, but he still didn't regret them.

why?

because he loved her.

love is a strong word, but it was the right word. slowly and surely, she had crept into kageyama's hard shell.

he had figured it out over the weeks of ghosting and tried to lie to himself that he didn't have feelings for her.

he tried to push her away—because he's never felt this way before, and also because he didn't want to ruin a friendship.

he tried to stop himself from thinking about her.

because relationships get messy. and the friendship they already had was all kageyama needed.

but at the end of the day, it was her who made him smile the most.

and it was also her who made him hurt the most.

all kageyama wanted was some time to collect himself. to end the feelings. and to stay away until then.

but after what suna and atsumu told him, it seemed like y/n was completely over him.

isn't that what kageyama wanted?

so why did it still hurt so much?

when kageyama saw her coming into that cafe with oikawa of all people—and calling oikawa "toru," it made his blood boil.

and when kageyama heard that she said she loved oikawa, it made him want to slap the gleeful look off the chocolate haired boy's face.

it made kageyama forget about trying to stay away from her.

and when oikawa confessed, she didn't even move.

she was willing.

she liked him back.

and knowing that was what tore kageyama apart.

kageyama was already trying not the think about the fact that he was being replaced—but by oikawa?

of all people, it was oikawa.

of all the people that she could've liked, it was oikawa.

toru oikawa.

kageyama hated oikawa before, but it was nothing compared to what he felt now—to when he saw him embrace her.

it hurt too much seeing them together. as a result, his jealousy got the better of him.

yet he didn't regret the fight. kageyama knew that it would never have worked either way.

there was no future for the two of them.

so why even bother trying? pushing her fully away would be better.

besides, kageyama still felt the anger towards her—how could she so willingly like oikawa of all people?

even though he won't admit it, kageyama understood that he went a little too far—that maybe some things were said in the heat of the moment.

whatever. it's not like i lied.

time seemed to have gone in slow motion as y/n ran out the door.