I WONT GIVE UP

CHAPTER 73

I open the door for me and Daehan.  We're welcome by my grandma. She's got thinner than before. "Good morning grandma," I said as I hug her.

"It's been a long time Jen-Jen. I miss you, you're still beautiful" She said. She looks at my back waiting for Lisa I guess?. "Where's Lisa?" She asks.

"I'm sorry grandma, she said she needs to go somewhere today and she can't be able to come here with us." I notice her face sadden once she heard what I said. She's fond of Lisa since the very first. Not like Lisa's grandma. She never likes me.

"What about Jisoo and Rosé?" She asks.

"They're busy too" I sadly said. She sigh.

"I feel like I'm not important to all of you anymore." She sadly said.

"Don't say that grandma. I'm here didn't I? You're the best grandma I know!" I said.

"Is that true? How about your father's Mom?" She asks.

I'm really not fond of my grandma and grandpa to my father's side because they're so strict when it comes to me and Jisoo and Yeri. We secretly hate them.

"No one can beat you, grandma!" I said and she chuckled.

We go directly to the dining table cause It's already lunch. I sat beside my grandma and my son across me.

We start eating and talking about some things that I want to know and she needs to know. We talk about how I found Lisa. How Lisa came back to me. I told her everything and I never missed one event that happened to us.

Uhmm...except to making love hehe.

Her next question makes my mouth shut.  "When is the wedding? I want to be there" she said excitedly.

"U-Uhm..we never talk about that grandma," I said. Yeah, It saddens me that Lisa never mentions about marriage.

I thought after the dilemmas we face we will move forward to our wedding because I'm so eager to be Manoban like my sons.

Well, who I am to force her? If she's not ready yet then why would I force her? I should respect her decision.

What if she doesn't want to marry you?. My inner self said.

No,  She will marry me because she loves me!

You said.

I said because that's the fact.

I feel my veins are popping up because my blood is boiling. this stupid mind of mine! How dare her to think like that.

What if she leaves you again like what she did before?

"I said shut the fuck up!" I didn't notice I said it out loud. My grandma looked at me with her eyes wide while my son look at me so scared.

"A-Are you mad at me M-Mommy?" Daehan said as a tear escape to his eyes.

I look at my grandma confused. "He said he want to be the ring bearer of your wedding" my grandma whispered to me.

My eyes almost went outside. What the hell did I just do? I didn't mean to shut him because I was talking to myself like a crazy lady.

I stand up and go to Daehan's spot and
Embrace him. "I'm sorry Daehanie. I didn't mean to shout at you, I'm just tired" I said and kiss them both. "I will just go outside grandma. I need fresh air" I said. She nod and I head outside.

"Give me the car key," I said to my driver.

"I can drive for you Ms. Kim," he said.

"No. I want to be alone. Thank you" I said and smile at him. I climb in the car and drive towards my favorite park here in the village. That's my favorite place whenever I'm here.

I park the car and climb out. The weather is nice if I hadn't just shouted at daehan maybe they're here with me.

I know Daehan Is kinda upset to me even If he didn't say it. I can sense it because he never glances at me the moment I kiss him on his cheek. I'm so disappointed in myself.

I will make it up to him later. I regret having fights with this mind of mine! I'M SUCH A CRAZY LADY.

Anyways I need some time alone too because I'm thinking about the wedding kinds of stuff. It's still bothering me.

The thought of Lisa doesn't want to marry me or give me her last name hurts me. What if she just comes back to me because of our sons? I don't want to think this kind of thing but Aishah.

I know she said she loves me but that's not enough to prove. But as I said I will never force her to marry me. It's her choice anyway.

I'm seating on one of the swings here and deep in my thoughts. I didn't notice someone is already seating on another swing which is beside me.

"Lost of your thoughts eh?" I look to that person. I frown once I saw him.